What happened to my brain cells???

It is amazing how when you take a break from something how much harder it is to get going again.....could be eating healthy, exercising, reading your Bible, regular prayer time, cleaning, and in this case.....blogging.

I have sat down at the computer so many times over the last couple of months to write a new post and just stare at the screen and cannot come up with anything to write. Oh, I think of things while I am at home doing other things.....but when I sit down to type it up I cannot remember any of the brilliant and witty and articulate things I want to say.

There is much going on in our home and lives right now but I am not really compelled to summarize and share...especially since it will most likely read like your own day. Not much fun.

I am in a rut when it comes to cooking so I don't have any really cool and yummy recipes to share.

My camera needs new batteries so I don't even have any new pics.

I know.....pathetic. :)

I am hoping that as I make a point to blog more often that the creative juices will begin flowing again and I might actually be able to write something that someone else might actually want to read.

In the meantime.........

Where Did Summer Go?

Seems like we just finished up school and began summer. And then here we are again. We start school on Monday. We have found an awesome homeschool group here. They have classes every Friday morning and we are so excited about that!! The art center here has expressed an interest in teaching an art class to homeschoolers every couple of weeks. And we have Kids For Christ on Wednesday afternoons. Add piano lessons, trips to the library and soccer to that and you have a very well rounded school schedule. Our youngest will begin this year as well. He is completely different than our oldest so it will be an adventure for sure. I think I was able to get alot of my "I can't believe I am doing this" jitters out last year and am looking forward to a fun year with my boys.

While I was catching up on some blog reading a few days ago I saw this awesome post about homeschooling. Even if you don't homeschool it will touch your mothers heart. It is exactly what I would want to say if someone asked me why we homeschool. It is just the right choice for us.

Hope to have more updates soon. Oh, I have started riding bikes around town with my boys. So much fun!!! Loving it!! It gets us moving, out of the house and saving us money too!! I will wait until I have pedaled 10 pounds off before I show pics of that.....hahaha

Be blessed!!

Still Alive & Kicking

We are still alive out here in Kansas. A storm came through almost a month ago and blew up our computer. So thankful that is the only thing it took out. So until we can save some moolah for a new one I will be posting less often. My mother in law just moved to town last weekend and has her internet up and running. So we will be frequenting her computer. Don't know if anyone is reading but in case you are.......still here and hope to get back to blogging soon.

A Truth Quilt

I read this today on a blog that I read most days and it really spoke to me. So I wanted to share it with you guys.
when you take the scraps of lies and make a truth quilt

Makes me want to learn to quilt. Enjoy!

I Choose

Today I choose to not let my feeling dictate my day.

Today I choose to dwell on the blessings in my life and not the lack.

Today I choose to order my home so it brings peace and not chaos.

Today I choose to lean into the arms of my Heavenly Father and let Him love on me without trying to wriggle away.

Today I choose to believe that things can be different.

Today I choose to think the things that change the attitude that becomes the habit that changes my life forever.

Today I choose to choose. I will not let circumstance decide my life for me. I will not let my feelings decide my life for me. I will exercise the free will God gave me to choose to be different. As long as there is breathe in my body there is hope (totally stole that quote from a commercial in Florida).

I choose to worship even if it is only words pouring from my mouth at first.

I choose to let my Spirit be in charge today and not my flesh.

I choose.

Would you answer the Ad?

So I was browsing through some blogs today and had this random thought about "Want Ads" and would I answer the ad for my job? You know the one that I have right now? The whole mommy thing....so I decided to write out what the ad would actually look like.

WANTED: a multi-tasker that is not afraid of hard work. Must be able to do laundry, clean the house, wash the dishes, supervise children, talk on the phone, answer e-mails, read stories, wipe hineys, break up fights, turn down the TV, make the beds, organize the house, hang blinds, fold laundry, grocery shop, take kiddos to the park, kiss little boys after they hurt themselves, cook dinner, meal plan, pay bills, play the piano, sing for the fun of it, dust, babysit nephews, make bread, unload dishwasher, make hubbys lunch, be supportive of ideas and dreams of sons and husband, express love, exercise patience, be available 24/7, must be tolernant of using your body as a jungle gym for children and feeling like velcro. Must be able to prioritize so that you can fit your devotional time into your day somehow. Must be willing to pray for the children and hubby. Probably won't get more than 90 seconds at a time to yourself, even to use the bathroom. Must be able to teach and show enthusiasm for learning. Must be willing to admit when you are wrong and when you just don't know. Skilled at spot removal and use of tools is helpful. BENEFITS include: leaving the house some days to realize that you only put on half your make-up, knowing everynight that no matter how hard you worked to get everything done that you will wake up to find something you missed. Getting to see the moment your child "gets it" and knowing that you are blessed to share with them everything you feel is important. Getting to know the children and seeing them develop into the unique people God created. Quality time with the family. Having the boys climb up in my lap (or wap) and kiss me and tell me that they love me. Knowing that it won't be more than 15 minutes until someone is touching me and wanting hugs. Seeing the hubbys face when he walks in and smells his favorite meal cooking. Being available for heart to heart talks with all 3 of the men in my house. Getting to see all that God is doing in their lives and mine. Priceless!!!

So, yes I would totally answer the Ad. What would your ad look like?

10 Random Thoughts or Things

Things have been a little deep around here on the blog so I thought I would try to lighten it up. So here is a list of 10 random things you might or might not want to know about me.

1. I have a serious obsession with Fudge Rounds and Cosmic Brownies.

2. My waistline seems to have gone on a vacation (see #1)

3. Kansas wind has transitioned in my mind from "so annoying" to a level of awesomeness I cannot describe. Perhaps it is the 100+ degree temps we are having. But wind is a girls best friend on days like that.

4. I do NOT miss humidity at all!!!

5. Took a walk with my little guys yesterday. They were on bikes.....I heard screaming and apparently they were being chased by a fox (their story, not mine) and while I was concerned, it was all I could do to not laugh at them. Sure the fox ran away from all that drama quickly.

6. They have a great school here. But I love homeschooling and so do my boys. So am praying once again about what is the best for our family. So many people with opinions ( and strange looks...haha)

7. Have you ever decorated your home exactly the way you want it only to wake up one morning and wonder what in the world you have been thinking? I have.

8. Am seriously about to invest some major moolah into some awesome undergarments. Perky is a distant memory.....and hubby says "no" to surgery. Victoria Secret here I come.

9. Did you know that there are some towns that only have 2 days a month that you can get a drivers license? I didn't know that either......but I do now. 14 days to go.....

10. Having your 4 & 6 years olds climb up in your lap and say " I Love You Momma" is the best thing EVER!

Happy Wednesday!!

Change of Perspective

I was sitting in church this morning and had a moment that felt like I had the rug pulled out from under me and was hit between the eyes at the same time.

But before I tell you about that I guess I need to give some background info so it will all make sense.

I have been dealing with drama in the family arena for several years now. My dad went off the deep end and left and apparently it has affected me more than I want to admit. I am 32 years old. I don't need my dad to provide for me financially or to take care of me like I needed when I was a child. But guess what? I have needed him to be there for me and he isn't. That stinks!! I don't like feeling like this. He has been wishy washy and here one minute and gone the next. He has made promises only to break them. I have let my guard down in hopes that "this time" it would be different only to have my heart trampled yet again. I have held my sweet boys in my arms while they cry and ask where Papa has gone and why doesn't he want to see them? So, to put it simply.....I am hurting. I know that somewhere in the messed up life of his that he loves me. I want to believe that. But his actions show different. His priorities reveal what he holds important. I miss him so much that at times I feel like I can't even breathe. I want to call him and talk to him like we used to, but it isn't the same. He isn't the same. And I am a different person as well. I want to yell at him and hit him, yet I need a hug so badly that if I saw him I might not let go. I am so conflicted and confused. I know that the Lord says to forgive. So I have done that. But it is the walking it all out that is just so hard. I need him but I don't want to need him, if that makes any sense. To love him and to reach out means to put myself at risk of rejection again and I know that it would be coming. I am hurting........just like soooooo many others out there. Maybe it isn't a dad that walked away, but a husband or a wife or a child or a best friend or you were hurt by a pastor or teacher, sister, brother. We all have that person that left us feeling like we were less than and we wonder if there is anything that we could have done differently to have avoided the rejection and hurt. If you say that you haven't experienced it then you are either truly blessed or in complete denial. But we feel it, someone said they don't love us or they say they love us and prove different by their words, actions, priorities. How does it make you feel???

So I was sitting in service this morning and the pastor asked that question. How does it feel? Immediately my heart and mind went down that road and I couldn't contain my raw emotions that I try to hide away. I was wallowing in the hurt and pain that was inflicted upon me.....when I was snapped out it by this next question......how do you think God feels when we say we love Him but act like we don't? When we don't give Him the time He deserves? When we allow other things to take His place as our first love? I was hit in the middle of the forehead with the realization that I was making my Savior Jesus Christ feel the same way I despised and resented.  I have been telling Him that I love Him but walking in a way that would prove opposite. If I am honest, I love sleeping in more than I love spending time with Him alone. I love watching TV more than Bible study. I love irresponsibility more than preparing to reach a lost and dying world. I love myself and what is going on with me more than what He values and thinks is important. I love music more than worship. I love books more than the Word of God. How dejected I must be making my Savior feel. It broke and still breaks my heart to think that I have inflicted then same kind of hurt that I have been dealing with on anyone else, much less the One that gave everything for me. He gave His life, His life blood, His Son, He has given me everything I need to love Him back. And that is what He covets and desires above all things. To be loved by His children. I am His daughter and unfortunatley I have been acting like I have no appreciation for that fact whatsoever. I love my Savior Jesus Christ and I want Him to feel my love. I need to learn to love. And only time with Him will reveal exactly what that looks and feels like. He wants to be my daddy and to show me what a daddys love feels like. So instead of focusing on what I have lost in my earthly fathers love, I am going to sit at the feet of my Heavenly Father and get to know Him.

My thoughts

As I sit here and wonder

About what God has in store

I think of the times

When I could have had more

More peace and more patience

More kindness and love

More joy and compassion

from God up above

What is it not offered

Or just not received

I know that the choice

was all up to me

I look forward with joy

to today and the next

knowing that God

wants to order my steps

Will I let Him or

keep doing it my way

Everyday is a choice

I choose Him today.

The Church Search

Well we are now into the end of our first month in Kansas and if I am honest I must admit that adjusting has been tougher than I was anticipating. I thought I was prepared and had it under control since I grew up a PK (Pastors Kid) and we moved around as much as if I had been an Army brat. But that was almost 20 years ago. I have since developed comfort zones and set up house and have been married 11 years, had 2 children and have fallen into routines. I miss my house. And I think I am missing it more because it is still OUR house. It has not sold and we really need it to. So many other people in our great nation have the same problem so I know that we are unique in this situation. But it is so odd to know that I have a beautiful house sitting empty right now......and we have to keep paying the bills for it. But the Lord is providing and it is still ours and will be until He sells it for us.

Our new home (a rental...and that stresses me out to no end...haha) is nice and new and we are the first people to live in it. It has carpet and everyone knows how much I like to vaccuum so that makes me happy. We have a basement to hold all of our "stuff" that won't fit anywhere else and a garage. And let me tell you.....that is sooooo nice. But the thing I am most excited about is the closets I have in this house. All 3 bedrooms have nice size closets and I have 2 linen closets and a coat closet. Now that doesn't sound impressive to most but I have lived in 2 different houses in my married life. The first had 1 closet....1....that is it and it was tiny. The second had 2...a total of 2. So not much storage area....I had to use a dresser to house towels and sheets and such. So 6 closets is rocking my world right now.  I still think I may need to have a garage sale because I have found that we still have too much stuff.

So that bring me to the whole point of this blog....in a roundabout kind of way. We are in this awesome little town and we are trying to get settled in. The residents of Greensburg are so nice and kind and it has a really nice feel to it. And we are looking for a church to get involved in. There isn't a church in town like what we are used to. And that has been a kink. But hubby and I both feel like the Lord called us to Greensburg and that we need to be involved in the community and in this town. And the best way to do that is to serve in a church here. The closest church like what we are used to is over 40 miles away. We wouldn't be able to get involved like we would like to if we had to drive that far. Plus how would we be able to invite people to church and expect them to drive so far. So that leaves us with the churches in town. We have visited a couple and think we have settled on one. We are still praying but we have a peace right now. I was talking to my sister about it all. Because I do have concerns as there are some faith in practice issues that differ from our beliefs. But the most important point....Jesus and salvation are one in the same.  She was so encouraging and challenged me to look at things from a different perspective. So we are still praying and seeking the Lords will. I know He will be faithful to reveal it if we truly want to hear what He has to say. This whole experience has been stretching us so why shouldn't this stretch us too? God wants us to mature and to grow into the people He intended us to be all along. And growing is sometimes painful and uncomfortable but He is with us. He has always shown Himself faithful and so I will stand on that Truth and know that He has a plan.

One last thought.........did you know that we live in the windiest area of the country? Yesterday it was blowing so hard you could hardly stand up. And it isn't just an occasional gust. It blows all the time. If you close your eyes you can almost inagine that you are at the beach. Ah...the beach.....

Freedom

I have a new favorite song. Actually I would call it a heartsong right now. I feel so blessed to have heard it on a day that was not a great one for me. It is a couple years old apparently but I had not heard it until a couple weeks ago. It is in my mind and in my heart all the time. I truly want freedom. I do..I do..I do. 

And I want freedom for my family. Some of you may read my sister in laws blog http://www.fearfully-wonderfully.com/ and know about what they have been dealing with the past 4 years. But if you don't, you should check her blog out. She and my brother have been through multiple miscarriages at various stages of gestation and have had to learn to trust even when trusting means having your heart ripped out. I am blown away by what I have seen the Lord do in them and in those around them. They have the sweetest little boy, Isaak, who brings joy to whomever he meets. I know that he is a miracle and I know that God is lining up another and another and another. So I want freedom for Amick and Christy.

I want freedom for my parents. I haven't talked about it on here because I was trying to protect their privacy but they are now divorced and I feel liberty to share. My father is not walking in the fullness of Gods blessing and I see how many chains he has picked up and is carrying around and it breaks my heart. It still seems so surreal that my parents are no longer married. I want freedom for them both. I want freedom from fear, freedom from doubt, freedom from selfishness and pride.

I will blog more about it all soon. I am just overwhelmed today. It is my sister's birthday. Her name was Kailyn and she would be turning 25 today had she not passed on almost 15 years ago. My heart is aching for my mom today because she is having to face this day alone. My brother lives 3 hours away from her. My sister and I now live 20 hours away and my father has become a completely different person and is not there for her either. Please pray for my momma today. She needs it, as do we all. And we all need to be praying for the people affected by these terrible storms swirling around our country right now. In the midst of it all, God is still God and I have to remember that.

It's My Birthday.

Today is my birthday. I am now 32 years young. I have received so many texts, facebook comments and actual cards and phone calls that I feel a bit overwhelmed right now.

I am one of those people that tries to act like it is no big deal (you know, just in case nobody remembers and I have to deal with "those" feelings) but deep inside it is a big deal. It is a day to celebrate the life I have lived so far and to express thanks and to look forward to the days and years ahead.

Here I am in a new town without all my friends, except for my bestie, my sister. And I am wishing that we could go out and have a girls night. You know, one of those nights that you go to dinner and laugh until you cry and then maybe actually cry for other reasons, then realize that everyone is laughing at you. I want a night like that. I have always felt guilty for asking for things like that. Why? So I am putting it out there. I want a night to feel special and revel in the fact that it is about me for just a little while. I think I am worth that.

So, now I need to make some friends out here because I know all my sweet lovely ladies back home are not going to be driving out here to have a girls night, NO matter how awesome I am....haha

The Way

Hubby and I are actively looking for a church in our new hometown. And I must say it has been a bit more interesting than I was anticipating. I know that the Lord has a place for us to worship, serve and to fellowship with other believers. The thing that has gotten me a little confounded is that there are so many denominations in our Christian faith that it makes things harder than it needs to be.

When the disciples first started spreading the gospel to the towns, provinces, and nations after Jesus was resurrected I am sure that the emphasis was on the good news of salvation through the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Now we have churches that divide rather than unify with the differences that have emerged over the past 2,000 years. Some examples......salvation by faith or by baptism? Speaking in tongues or not? Eternal security or can you lose your salvation? Baptism by sprinkling or by immersion? I am so aggrivated right now. Can you tell? Perhaps I should settle down and just pray that the Lord will lead us where He wants us. I know what I believe but it saddens me to see so many believers putting energy into things that really don't make any difference in the end. Jesus is the only way. Belief that He is who He says He is and has done everything to offer me salvation is the only choice. Trusting in Him and walking daily to bring Him glory is what He desires. Leading unbelievers into His presence is His greatest delight. Let's get on with it.

Amber Waves of Grain

Hello from the great state of Kansas!!!

It has been 2 weeks since we arrived with a huge 26 foot truck pulling another U-Haul. So now there are 8 more residence of Kansas.

It has been a smooth transition and we are enjoying our new homeplace.

The boys have been busy exploring and checking out all the parks. And riding their bikes on our paved driveway......they are ecstatic about it.....haha

We are trying to play catch up with our schoolwork and finish up the year. My sweet little man is doing so well with his schooling!!

Hubby is loving his job! But the highlight was Sunday evening when he was able to lead a young man he works with to the Lord. What a blessing!!! Hubby is so excited! I am so proud of him and so inspired by what He is allowing God to do in him and through him.

I want to thank everyone who has been praying for us over the last 6 months. They have been felt and I know have made a huge difference in this new journey for our family. I never imagined I could feel this measure of peace about moving to an entirely new town 1,200 miles away from our home.

Our home is still for sale and we would appreciate prayers for a quick sell. We know God is working it out and will be faithful to complete the work He began.....just anxious to see it come to pass.....you know me and patience...lol

I will take some pics and post them soon. Trying to decide how anonymous I want to be with this blog.

Good Friday

This is a repost but this song touches me so much, especially on this day, I had to share.

May you be blessed this Good Friday as we remember the love and sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ.
Happy Easter.....He is Risen! Hallelujah!!!!

Defiant Disobedience

I have been running up against something in the last few days that is a relatively new phenomenon in our house.

My boys have begun to willfully disobey even though they know that they have been instructed not to and are aware of consequences. I am not sure I am ready for this yet. I thought I had at least a few more years of innocence with them.

I will spare you all the details but  I have been so explicit and have gone over off limits areas and what is not acceptable and the consequences of disobedience and yet they willfully and defiantly do it anyway. My youngest will just look at you and say "yes" he did it because he wanted to . My oldest is blaming it on his younger brother even though he was caught red handed. Said he didn't make the bad choice. I feel a loooooong discussion coming when I calm down. 

I have to be honest, I probably overreacted a bit but I am fed up with it. I don't feel like I should tolerate it. It isn't like they just forgot the rules or pushed the boundaries a little. It is full blown rebellion. Hmmm.....rebellion. Wonder where they learned that?

As I was pacing outside trying to calm down so I wouldn't sprout horns I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me. His voice asked me how many times I have willfully and defiantly acted out in rebellion even though that there would be consequences. And it doesn't have to just be a sin I committed but could be a sin of omission....not doing something he told me to. Conviction came upon my heart and I knew that the very thing I am so upset at in my boys is an area of my life that needs the transforming power of God to change. Does this mean that I am going to excuse what the boys have done? No, but will it help me address it in love and compassion? Yes, I think so. Granted I have made choices that I knew were wrong and I shouldn't do them and sometimes I might have even known what the consequence would be. I did them anyway because my flesh wanted the instant result of the rebellion. Have I paid a price? You bet. Has God forgiven me? Absolutely. But have I had to deal with the consequences even though the forgiveness of the Lord was mine? Without a doubt.

Rebellion is as old as the garden of Eden. Rebellion is just as simple as doing the opposite of what I know the Lord asks of me. Is it a big deal? Yep. It creates a chasm between the Lord and I. Just like the actions of my boys created a chasm between them and I. Forgiveness, love, compassion and repentance will close the chasm. But I have to want to close it. God won't do it alone. He waits for us to call to Him and to surrender to what He wants to work in us.

I think the greatest truth I have learned from this experience today is that I was so dissapointed and hurt and felt like my boys didn't value my word. I want to protect them, to nurture them and to see them become all God created them to be. It broke my heart to see them acting in such opposition to the character of God. I wonder how much I would need to multiply that feeling to truly understand how the Lord feels when we rebel?He created us for a purpose. To be loved, nurtured, cared for, provided for and He wants to be loved back so badly. How many times have I broken His heart through my own rebellion? When I fail to trust Him and I act in ways that contradict His character? When He tells me in His Word how to be blessed and then I act like it is no big deal and do what feels right to me? I think it grieves Him greatly. I am sure He has wanted to shake me and give up. But He hasn't. He continues to love and to listen and to minister, while waiting for me to come to Him and repent. His kind compassionate love always takes me back and then, this is the greatest thing, He forgives me then forgets about it all and picks up right where I walked away and leads me forward again.

How when I have been forgiven so many times of so many things could I not forgive?
I think a lesson is to be learned and then taught to my boys.
Rebellion will always lead to death and destruction. But my God leads to life!

The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).
John 10:10 (Amplified)

Who knew I had so much crap...

I thought packing to move would be an easy thing accomplished in a few hours.....hahaha...guess the joke is on me. I did not know how much stuff we accumulated over the last 11 years of marriage.

I am not one that holds on to things and refuses to let them go and I knew that I had been purging unwanted/unused items along the way. But what I discovered when it came time to put it all into boxes surprised me. What has surprised me more is this gnawing feeling that I would rather give most of it away than box it up and store it in the garage 1200 miles away. Apparently my hubby has had the same brilliant thought too. He has decided that we should sell our obscenely humongous projection TV and the surrounding entertainment center. I know that this doesn't mean much to you guys but my hubby "needed" that TV before he would even discuss children. It has been THAT important. So I am going to sell it and put the profit toward a newer, much more space friendly model that hangs on the wall. I cannot tell you how excited I am to see the TV go. Yeehaw!!! Anyone want to buy it????

Another thing I have discovered about myself is that I am a book-aholic. I love books!!! And I have difficulty parting with them, even if I have read them 20 times. Actually the times read directly correlates with the value assessed. It is an obsession apparently. But I guess I could be collecting worse things. And I did manage to thin the numbers a bit while packing. I decided to take the approach that if I have owned it for 5 or more years and haven't read it, then I probably won't and should therefore give it to someone else.

On an entirely unrelated note, my youngest had his booster shots yesterday. RIP MY HEART OUT!!! Poor guy has a limp today from his sore thighs, where they stabbed him with 5, yes I said 5, needles. He was so brave but the crocodile tears streaming down his adorably handsome face was rough for me. Did I mention that I have the 2 most beautiful boys in the world???? I do, really. It is a proven fact. Trust me on this one. Oh, and my 3 nephews are right there with them. Such sweetness and handsomeness should be illegal. But so glad it is not because all 5 are PRECIOUS!!! You should see them. 

For some reason I am feeling quite silly today. Silly and giddy. Makes me want to drive to California to where we had the best playground down the road from our house. The entire thing was made of concrete. It was great. You could take a piece of cardboard and slide down the enormous slide. And if you didn't have cardboard you shouldn't slide.......well, it's concrete...what do you think would happen to your jeans and skin without it???  So much fun!!!!! Wish I was 7 years old again.

http://youtu.be/iOoq1oAvpYE - a disclaimer- this is not me but it shows the concrete slide. awesome!!! Wish everyone could go to Cheese Park with me.
Have a Cheese Park kind of day today!!!!

The Countdown Has Begun

So alot of things are packed, we have our house for sale, we have a place to live in Kansas, things are working out and the move is getting closer everyday.

This past week has been an exercise in patience and faith. My kiddos have been sick with Strep and ear infection (thank the Lord they are much better) and my hubbys truck needed a new clutch put in. So thankful that it decided to go out while he was just a few miles up the road instead of on the interstate while pulling a U-haul in the middle of nowhere. It is the small things that make me happy...haha. The Lord has provided a clutch and a sweet man to help my hubby install it. I am finding that I am at a loss of what to blog about because so much of what is consuming my time these days is only interesting to me.

I hope to have alot of wonderful news to share in the coming weeks.

Making bread and it is time to punch down, reknead and separate into loaves. Gotta go. Oh, thanks Tara M for the recipe! My family loves it.

Wanna Buy My House??

Our house is up for sale. Interested???? Here is the link.

Moving

Hubby and I had a nice trip last week. It was a tough trip but very productive. We met with 3 different farmers and drove around the farms and the towns. All 3 of them are Christian men and had very nice operations. But after visiting all 3 we felt a tremendous peace about 1 in particular. We have done alot of praying and talking and my hubby has accepted a position in Kansas. We are very excited!!! We have begun packing and our realtor is coming by in the morning to get everything started so we can sell our house. There is so much to do but the Lord is our strength and our joy and the peace I am experiencing right now confirms that this is the right thing for our family. Thank you to all who have been praying for us. I ask that you continue as we sell our home and make the move to Kansas. This is a tremendous opportunity for my sweet husband and our family. SO blessed!!!

Gonna go to bed. I am tired from all the decluttering, packing and cleaning from this week. I had no idea we had so much "stuff".

I Did It!

I finally got up the nerve to make an appointment to cut my hair. My husband had even gotten tired of my whining about the mop on my head. And I had finally hit the point that a bad haircut was better than what I had going on. So I went yesterday and got it cut. I LOVE IT!!!! I feel 10 pounds lighter and much more attractive. I knew that I had started having headaches and I thought they might be related to my hair but I had no idea how heavy my hair had gotten until she cut it and thinned it alot! I don't have pics today but will post one soon. I still have alot of hair but half of it is gone now. Yippee!!

In other news, hubby and I are making another trip this week to meet with some farms out west. We have it narrowed down to 3 right now and are praying that the Lord will direct us and reveal His will and give us peace. Gonna be a long week of driving but should be a productive week. Praying and hoping that by this time next week hubby will have a new job and we will begin plans to relocate. Lots to do. But one bite at a time, right?

Our boys decided to NOT go on the trip with us. They had been all excited about the road trip until they realized that they would be spending 75% of the time in the car. Our oldest finally looked at me and said "I'm going to let you and dad go by yourselves, and when dad decides where his new job will be and you have a house picked out, THEN I will make that trip". Too hilarious! Growing into such a little man.

I have 2 new books to read on the trip hopefully. I began one. It is One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I am in Chapter 3 and it is a phenomenal read. So much to think about and process. I highly recommend it to everyone!! The other book is Immanuels Veins by Ted Dekker. I know I will be useless as a person while I read that one so I trying to keep it on the shelf until I have time to truly read it. And may I say that Ted Dekker is one of my favorite writers. I realize he might not be for everyones taste and I get that. But if you are at all curious, please give him a chance. Oh, and Ann Voskamp reads like honey dripping with a fluidity that I haven't encountered in a long time. Try them out. You know.....if you have time....haha.

I had been feeling a little down lately at the prospects of moving away from the deep south and all of the trees and flowers that reside here. They are truly beautiful to behold. I was upset that I might not get to see spring before we moved. But unusual warm temps have triggered all the lovliness and I have been moved to tears as I have witnessed Japanese Magnolias, Dogwood trees, Bradford pears, Camelias, Azaleas, Laurel Pedulums (spelling?) and many more types of flowers blooming out. It has done my heart good to see it. It has also made me realize that I will have to plant many plants wherever we end up. Didn't realize I had gotten so attatched to the plant life here.

Seems like everyone around me isn't wanting to talk about the fact that we may be moving. I am finally feeling the need to talk about and process through it but most everyone else just looks at me, shrugs and changes the subject. Guess I will just have to talk to hubby...haha

A Jumble of Thoughts

I feel like my brain is overloaded and can't really think straight.

I have entire aspects of my life that I have realized I have just closed the closet door on to revisit later.

I can only deal with so much at one time.

Will I be moving away from the home I have lived in for 10 years? Yes possibly.

Am I freaking out a bit by it? Yes, I am.

Am I excited about the future and what lies ahead? Absolutley!

Am I torn between what I know is God's will and how it will affect those around me? Yep.

Do I feel a peace in the midst of this chaos? I sure do.
Can I explain it? Not really..... I can just feel the arms of the Lord around me whispering that He sees the big picture and to lean into Him.

Please pray for this recovering control freak during this time. God is continuing to show Himself faithful and providing for us. But bottom line is that my hubby needs a job. We are praying about where the Lord wants us.

I went to a funeral on Saturday and heard something that has sunk deep into my spirit. The man died of brain cancer and went through sooooo much pain and dissapointment but those that knew him said over and over again that his only prayer during that time was " Please let the Lord be seen in my life". What a testimony! That is my prayer today. Whatever we face and wherever you send us, Lord I pray that you are seen in our lives. Use us for your glory! We love you Lord! Amen!

A Letter to my Younger Self

The past few weeks have gotten me to thinking about some things I wish I had known earlier in my life, reflecting on decisions I have made and reassessing some mindsets and beliefs. So I thought I would write a letter to my younger self to explain it all. This is really just an exercise for myself, but feel free to read if you like or even write your own.

Dear You,

You think you know everything and have it all figured out. I can tell you that the longer you hold onto that assumption, the harder things will be. Here are some nuggets of wisdom from your slightly older, somewhat wiser, less arrogant self.

1. Don't spend so much time worrying over things you have absolutley NO control over. It will rob you of joy, time and a passion for life.

2. People will always have opinions, no matter what you do. You cannot please them all. You can spend your entire life people pleasing and still end up abused, rejected and cast aside. Focus on what God says about you. He is all that matters. In Him alone, will you find your true identity.

3. Use your time wisely, you only have so much. Be purposeful with your days. Don't let them slip by without making an impact on at least one thing or person, even if that one thing is yourself.

4. Don't agree to do something unless you fully intend on following it through. Refer to number 2. Many stresses can be avoided if you just think it through before saying "yes" or "no". Your word is very important! Do not break your word if you can avoid it, even if it inconveniences you. God did not make you to be a "flake".

5. Time alone with God is sooooo important!!! If you don't get this right, then everything else is going to be sooooo much harder.

6. Laugh more! Lighten up! Be silly! Dance! Sing! Run hard!

7. Don't wear masks. Not with your husband, your children, your family, your friends or your church. They only bring destruction to you. Trust enough in the Lord and the people around you to be yourself. Even if they don't understand you, they will have a greater appreciation for your authenticity than your "I am acting like I have it all together when I am crumbling inside" mask. A hint......the mask doesn't fool anyone anyway.

8. Don't drink so much caffeine or eat so much chocolate....you know it makes you edgy and irritable. Your family will thank you many times over for this.

9. Always be learning! Learn a new skill, master it. Don't just start and then cast it aside when it is no longer fun. Commit to something and see it through to completion.

10. Don't be prideful but don't hide your talents and gifts. Use them with a passion. God gave them to you for a purpose. Enjoy them!!

11. Be a friend. A good friend. Listen more than you speak. Be plugged in and interested. Be vulnerable and open allowing friendship to grow and bloom into something beautiful. Be the friend you always wanted.

12. Not everyone will be a lifelong friend. That is okay. Stop trying to force something. Be kind and available but don't stress if it ends. Some relationships are for seasons and others are for a lifetime. Learn to recognize the difference.

13. Love with everything in you! Receive the love God has for you so you can then love others. You can't give what you don't have. It is a wonderful thing to be loved on by your Heavenly Father. Enjoy it! Don't hide from Him, He is not a man that He should dissapoint and crush your heart. HE IS LOVE! Feel that!

14. Your husband is your best friend! Encourage him, lift him up, love him, RESPECT him, be available to him. Make your home a haven for your family. Be thankful that he has a drive to work and takes his position as the head of your home seriously. Pray for him so that he will become everything God created him to be. You see the potential. Encourage him to grow. Do not nag. It is counterproductive. Believe me, it does not work. Communicate with him. Don't talk negatively about him to others. Rather be a grown up and discuss issues with him face to face. Don't turn to others for validation and acceptance if you have not gone to your husband first. Do not say anything about him to others that you would not say if he were standing right beside you. Let him hear you build him up to others. He wants to be your hero. Let him.

15. Your children are always watching you.....and I mean always. Be a Godly example to them. Pray with them. Read Gods Word with them. Talk respectfully. Teach discipline, model kindness, compassion, love, joy, peace, patience. You are their greatest teacher. Never forget that. Pray for them continually. God has a purpose for their lives. And yours right now is praying for them and teaching them and preparing them for what lies ahead.

16. Turn a deaf ear to anyone that would make you feel like a "second rate" citizen because you are a stay at home mom. You are doing what the Lord has asked of you and His opinion is all that matters. You are doing a good job and He is pleased with you. Obedience to the Lord is so much important than the opinions of the world. They are looking through their own perspecives and life experiences. They may not understand your decision but you need not be defensive or feel like you have to explain yourself at all. Just rest in the assurance that you are being obedient.

17. Same thing goes for homeschooling. I know right now you cannot even imagine doing such a thing. But never say never. Just be pliable and willing to grow in the directions God says. You love to learn and love school. Maintain that passion and zeal. Allow your children to be different than you. Ask God to show you how to draw out their strengths. Be patient with their weaknesses. Always love! Be disciplined but flexible. Have fun! Plan ahead so you are prepared but be willing to roll with the punches.

18. You will be much more hospitable if you are diligent about keeping your home clean and tidy. You think you need all that "stuff" sitting around gathering dust but time will change your mind. Teach your children to take care of their home by modeling it for them. You want your family to love where they live and feel free to invite guests over without embarressment. Yes, it really is that big of a deal. It isn't that hard. just do it. Be a grown up already!

19. You will not like this one and I am not even a fan of it at this point in my life either. Excercise!!! You feel better, you are more disciplined in all areas when this is in place. Plus it is taking care of your body. You want to be around for your family for a long time?? Then you have to do this. They deserve your best. You can't neglect this area. Keep trying new things until you find something you love to do. And until then, keep doing something to be healthy. Do you not discern and understand that you are God's temple (His sanctuary), and that the God's Spirit has His permanent dwelling in you, collectively as a church and also individually? I Corinthians 3:16

20. Lastly for today, be yourself. Don't hide who God created you to be. Always be growing and maturing but feel free to be you. There will be areas of your life that God may overhaul and that is alright. Go with it. Surrender. He knows how He created you. He is not surprised by your quirks. He actually smiles when He thinks of you. Have faith that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. Believe that He has good things in store for you. He does. Do not give up. Keep pressing on. Love the Lord with all your heart, mind and spirit and recieve His love for you! Everyday be thankful and grateful and walk through each day aware of the blessings in your life. Focus on the positive! Cast fear aside and walk in the strength of the Lord. If God be for us, who can be against us?

Love, ME

Patience? Really?

Hubby and I just got back from a whilrlwind trip to a job interview 1,300 miles away. I will not bore you with details but I saw nasty weather that freaked me out, and felt cold that made me go numb. Can you say -20 degrees with a wind chill waaayyy lower? Yikes! It is safe to say that we will NOT be moving to Kansas right now. The job was a no-go. God closed the door and I am somewhat relieved. Don't get me wrong, I want my hubby to find a job and be successful but we didn't have peace about that one. God has something else up His sleeve apparently. We are continuing to pray, seek and listen for His leading. A HUGE bonus from all of this is that I have gotten to spend time with my hubby and we got a mini-vacation out of it. So nice to spend time with each other without the kiddos. Soooo hard to leave them at first but it ended up being a blessing.

So I am trying to get back into a routine around here. Hasn't been as easy as I would like. I think I was already packing and preparing to move and now I am having to shift my focus a bit. And patience is being exercised daily. I has to be because it does not come naturally to me at all.

The boys are doing great! The homeschooling has been awesome. We have days that are challenging and even frustrating but the beauty of it is that we can tweak our plans or completely throw them out the window and try somthing else. Yesterday I woke up in a funk and my oldest asked me why I was so upset. Knowing that he did not deserve to have me and my negativity in his face that early, we went to the park and library and postponed school until the afternoon. It was a wonderful day!!!! He was actually more focused and intent to his studies as well. So I think we may mix it up more often. We have also done his schoolwork on the screen porch a good bit this week since it has been phenomenal weather. So thankful for that.

This weather makes me want to go outside as soon as I get up and not come inside until we need to go to bed. I might try that tomorrow.

Ooooo, that smell......

My nose is being offended greatly by the kitchen trash can right now. I think it might actually be affecting my brain functions. I could get up and take it out but it is raining outside and I am in my PJ's, so.....yeah I'm not gonna do that.

A few months ago we "temporarily" set up our computer in the living room on top of a vintage sewing machine in front of a bookcase. It was only supposed to sit there until we tested everything and found it a new home elsewhere in the house AWAY from the trash can. But I haven't done that yet. I will add it to my ever growing "to-do list".

Hubby & I have a very promising lead on a job. It would require relocating 1,000 miles away and leaving our home here. I am processing that right now. Every day brings a new emotion and flood of thoughts. On one hand I am so excited and looking to the future of what God has in store. On the other hand I am feeling nervous and sad at the thought of leaving here. Plus moving would present a really long list of "to-do's". So I am pushing through and just seeking the Lord for His strength, wisdom and joy.

On a completely unrelated topic. Has anyone else seen the show "Wipeout"? I love that show. And I would love to be on it. An absurd obstacle course for adults? Sign me up!!! Anyone want to join me?

"You talking to me?"

I don't know why but that movie quote just flashed through my mind. The past few days I have noticed a gorgeous cardinal bird perched on my car. The boys and I have been watching the bird for many weeks since it lives in the trees behind their rooms. But Saturday it got an attitude and shifted its focus from worms and nuts and bugs to himself. He has been flittering between the side window and the brush guard of hubbys truck. From these two vantage points he can see himself in a mirror or the chrome bumper. I am pretty sure that he doesn't know that he is looking at his reflection. But it has been hilarious to watch this beautiful bird try to beat up his opponent. He perches, taunts and then attacks his reflection. Occassionally he flies up and looks behind the mirror but then goes right back to the insanity of trying to eradicate something that cannot be beat. I have been amused and also felt a little sad for the bird. That is until I was walking past and he proceeded to do a fly by a little tooo close to my eyes. I would like to keep those, thank you very much.

But the bird got me thinking about how often we spend our time and energy fighting the person we see in the mirror. Sometimes when we notice circumstances in our lives we just start blindly throwing punches without realizing that it may have been our own choices that put us in that situation. We want someone to blame, a quick fix and the satisfaction of knowing that we are innocent and that we are just truly victims of other peoples choices and randomness. Sometimes that is true but sometimes it is not.

The Word of God says in James 1:23-27

For if anyone only listens to the Word without obeying it and being a doer of it, he is like a man who looks carefully at his [own] natural face in a mirror; For he thoughtfully observes himself, and then goes off and promptly forgets what he was like. But he who looks carefully into the faultless law, the [law] of liberty, and is faithful to it and perseveres in looking into it, being not a heedless listener who forgets but an active doer [who obeys], he shall be blessed in his doing (his life of obedience). If anyone thinks himself to be religious (piously observant of the external duties of his faith) and does not bridle his tongue but deludes his own heart, this person's religious service is worthless (futile, barren). External religious worship [religion as it is expressed in outward acts] that is pure and unblemished in the sight of GOd the Father is this: to visit and help and care for the orphans and widows in their affliction and need, and to keep oneself unspotted and uncontaminated from the world. (Amplified)

So often we fight the man in the mirror because we do not recognize him. Why don't we recognize him? Is it possible that who we think we are and who the Lord knows we are might look different? Perhaps I am looking at my reflection through my eyes of piety and pride, measuring myself on a religious yardstick. I see what I do and who I want to be. God sees me as I am, warts and all, He loves me unconditionally and He sees the woman He created me to be. How do I become the person God sees? Obedience. When I am obedient and seek God above all else, my perspective will begin to shift and He will open my eyes to see things differently. I will begin to see the areas of my life that have not been surrendered. I will learn to trust, I will learn to lean, I will learn to let go. I will begin to love the Lord in a new and wonderful way. I will begin to walk in love with others. And I will begin to see a new reflection in the mirror. And I will not forget what that woman looks like. I will stop fighting the woman in the mirror because I will not be deceived and blinded by pride, fear, doubt and pain. God sent His Son, Jesus to Christ to bring freedom, not to enslave. My obedience should flow from love for my Father, not out of a religous obligation or spiritual checklist.

I am tired of fighting a fight that I cannot win against an opponent that I cannot see. I am ready to trust and lean into the One who already fought the fight and won. And because of Him, I can walk in victory. I think it is time to change my anthem and song. How often have I looked foolish like that silly cardinal fighting myself when I could be the beautiful creation He created and fly high, leading others to the Lord I know and the freedom He brings?

So thrilled that the Lord takes ordinary, daily events to teach me a lesson. He loves you that much too. Just don't ignore them.

Wanna see into my house?

Okay, so I know this might be a little too silly for you more refined folks but I love this movie!!! My hubby and I fell in love while watching this movie almost 17 years ago so it holds a special place in my heart. Today I feel like the hitchiker that gets bamboozled by the idiots driving a sheepdog, even down to the scene where he is about to pull his gun. Pay special attention to the slapping past him and the most annoying sound in the world.....yep, that is my house today. Just watching that made my day brighter and better. Is that sad?

A Vent Session

Today I will be listing some things that are annoying me and I need to get off my chest.

1. Walmart....why oh why did you decide to make your grocery bags even thinner and more useless?? They are officially good for NOTHING! I don't think you are saving money if your cashiers are having to double bag for cereal boxes. And that is if you happen to get in line with a cashier that actually cares. Most of them will put 15 pounds of canned goods in one bag and then tell you that if you want, you can double bag it yourself. Ugh!!

2. I had forgotten how much I really do not enjoy dirty diapers. I still do not like them. And my boys and the little man I watch have radar when it comes to me sitting down to eat. I either have to run and help my littlest man in the potty or change a stinky diaper. I have even attempted to switch up when I eat. It has not mattered at all. The radar goes off and I have poop to deal with. Yuck!!

3. Laundry is a chore that I don't really mind doing. But I have noticed a new phenomenon. There are 4 people in my house and somehow I end up with more loads than that a day. How???? I try to do laundry every day and keep it all done but it is getting harder and harder. Maybe it is the fact that the boys clothes are getting bigger in proportions to their growing bodies.

4. Patience is not an area of life that I seem to have mastered. I am constantly being given opportunities to grow in that area, daily, hourly and sometimes by the minute.

5. I am upset at our Electric Company today. I feel like they are trying to bully me and while I am usually confident in most things to fight back, this is something I am pretty much ignorant about. I need help!

6. I am feeling compelled to clean out my house. It is becoming a driving need. Perhaps it is spring cleaning a few months early. However all the responsibilies I have right now are frustrating that plan. I want to move everything in my house but it just isn't going to happen this week.

7. I need a haircut!! My hair is starting to resemble a hippie that stuck a finger in an elctrical socket. But I am not sure about trusting my hair to just anybody. The last haircut I got lasted several hours and they only did the front half of my hair. The back is still damaged and full of split ends. I told them what I wanted and they completely ignored my requests. I have ALOT of hair. It is very thick and heavy and not just anybody can cut it. I guess the problem is that I haven't found ANYONE that can. At least not to my satisfaction. So in the meantime I am walking around with a haircut that makes me look older and not feel as attractive as I would like. I guess I need to get brave and give someone a chance.

8. I am a huge fan of the Shark Steam Mop. I received my 2nd one for Christmas. I love it!!! It makes my least favorite household chore at least tolerable. They have new mopheads that fit into tighter spaces, especially in the bathroom. Then I saw on their new infomercial (hey don't judge) that they combined their vacuum and their mop into one machine. Say what???? Always something else. I am determined to enjoy my new mop, even if it doesn't vacuum up dirt.

9. Whining is quite possibly the most annoying sound in the world. You know what I am talking about, right???

10. I will end on a positive note. It is beautiful outside today! So my little whiners have been banished to the yard while I tackle the mountain of laundry, while pushing my hair out of my face and have a date with my steam mop, while occasionally stopping to change a diaper or wipe a hiney. Then I will have to find a non-Walmart bag to put the diaper in. I will refrain from calling the Electric company to vent my frustrations and try to come up with a solution. Anyone know a free Electrician?

I Was A Witness

Today I went to a wedding that in many ways was different than any other I had attended. The bride wore pink. It was thrown together in just a few weeks. The couple had their 3 sons standing up on stage with them. They both come from a different type of life than I have lived. But while I was sitting in that chair and watching a miracle unfold the Lord showed me that He is the Redeemer of all things.

I met this young lady over a year ago when she started attending our church with her grandmother. She brought her 3 sons and they are quite active, if you get my drift. Some Sundays as I taught their classes I thought I might just lose my mind. They tested my comfort zone and my standards of acceptable behavior. But without fail, their mom would bring them and over the past year I have seen the Lord work in a mighty way in these precious little boys.

Almost a year ago, while I was teaching these little boys about God and telling them about how much He loved them, their mother surrendered her life to the Lord in service. My hubby had tears in his eyes as he told me about it on the way home from church. What wonderful news!!!!

Over the past year, I have watched this young woman faithfully attend and bring her children, and then she was bringing her brother and sister in law, and friends. What God had done in her life was affecting those around her. So awesome!!!!

However, she had a sadness since she was coming alone, without her boyfriend and father of her children. She has stayed faithful and in faith, trusting that the Lord would do what He promised.

The first Sunday of January we had a guest speaker at church. Phenomenal message by the way!!! At the end of the sermon, this man walked up to this young woman and began to prophecy. He said to keep holding on and to keep trusting, that God was working, even if she couldn't see it.

The next Sunday her boyfriend came to church with her and received Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. Awesome again!!! Hallelujah!!!

The next Sunday there was a wedding anouncement posted in the foyer and they were inviting everyone to their wedding. What a sweet celebration!

So I sat in my seat and watched this new man in Christ see his friend and love of his life in a brand new light. He began crying when he saw her walking down the aisle. But the part that touched my heart most was that they both cried when Pastor began talking about the Lord and how He saw them. They might as well have been shining and glistening as they smiled at each other and cried.

I witnessed a miracle of God today. He has redeemed their lives just like He redeemed mine. He has made them one with each other in a way they didn't even know existed before they met God. And more importantly they are now one with Christ.

I went today to show support and to celebrate a new marriage but got my socks blessed off. God is so good. His Word does not return void. It will reap a harvest. And I feel so blessed to have been able to be a part of the miracle today.

I am so proud of them both and look forward to seeing what great things will come for Juan & Angela. Please praise the Lord with me and pray for them as well as they walk a new road together.

A New Thing

I have already posted about some of the new things that are going on with me...pedicures, homeschooling, babysitting, etc. But the latest developement is in the area of my husbands job and where his next one will be. We have been looking at positions from here to Nebraska and have been offered a few. Right now we are seeking the Lord and asking Him where He wants us to go. And if in fact he wants us to move somewhere else. We are open to whatever the Lord has planned but a serious discussion with hubby last night got my anxieties and insecurities ruffled. I know that the Lord has a plan and a purpose for our family. And this past week He has been speaking to me about the fact that whatever that plan is will not just affect me, hubby and our sons but many more around us. He will not send us somewhere that He does not have a greater purpose than just providing us with a different home and an increase in pay. This is really all about allowing God to work in us and through us to minister for Him. Wherever we end up I know that it will stretch us out of our comfort zones and put us into a position of leaning completely on Him (something that is already going on). I want to be a part of what He is doing and I am excited about what is to come.

I promise I will try to post a fun post soon. This is just what is going on with us at the moment.

Pretty Toes

Alright, I guess you could say that I have been swayed to the girly side of things. I have blogged on here before about the fact that I have never had a pedicure and never fully understood why someone would in fact go pay money to get one. Well, let me just say that I understand now!!! My friend gave me a pedicure and lunch out for Christmas and at first I was unsure about the whole thing. But after thinking about it some more, I decided to throw caution to the wind and to surrender my feet to a sweet little lady with magic hands. It was a lovely, relaxing and totally frivolous thing to do. I loved it!!! So, in all fairness, I must aplogize to all of you who knew about this wonderful world and endured my ridicule and teasing. Can I join your club now? My feet feel so soft and my toes are beautiful!! And yes, I would go again very soon. In fact I might even start a savings envelope that says "Pretty Toes".

I am trying all kinds of new things these days. Who knew? And I am mentally tracking back to all of the other things I said I would "never do". I am beginning to think that God is wanting to teach me some things about my mouth......

Out The Gate Strong

Today was the my first day as a "homeschool mom". We have always tried to create an atmosphere in our home that inspired learning. We LOVE to read and learn new things. And while I am not the most creative individual in the world, I can appreciate and implement the ideas of others. But this morning we had school at home. Now if this is not something you would like to read about, please feel free to skip the next few paragraphs. It won't bother me.

The morning went smoothly and it just felt "right". But more importantly than any feelings I had was the peace I had. I can tell that being one on one in a learning environment is going to stretch me a bit. I am in my element in front of a group of kids or adults. I don't get nervous usually. But one on one and I start freaking a little. Thankfully, my sweetie pie was understanding and "redirected" me when I started to stray....haha He has had just enough school to have developed routines and schedules and to appreciate order and organization. For that I am thankful. We tend to have fallen into more of a routine around here so that is good. My youngest son was well behaved all morning and even came in a few times curious and wanting to participate. That was my plan....make him curious and want to include himself. It will go alot smoother if he thinks it is his idea. Plus he just turned 4 so I am not stressing about him yet. He has already learned so much from his brother.

The weather didn't exactly cooperate for our first day of school and recess. It has been raining all day. But my star student decided that it would be a good time to have recess indoors and play with play doh. So we did.

God is good and is working in ways we can see and even more ways that we can't. I look forward to what He has in store. My husband is looking for a job. The time has come for him to leave where he has been for the past few years. God is providing and taking care of us. He always does. We are seeking and trusting in the Lord and what He wants to do in us, through us and for us. We have feelers out all over the country and have had some interest expressed. Please pray that God will reveal His next steps for us and that we will be obedient and strong in faith as we step out.

We have started having devotions as a family every morning and I cannot even begin to tell you how God is speaking to us. The confirmations He is leading us to in His Word are awe-inspiring. We are at a point that all we can lean on is our Heavenly Father and it feels surprisingly liberating. It is amazing how our perspectives and attitudes can change when we realize that we don't control anything really. We just have illusions of control. We have fear, pride and arrogance when we try to do it all ourselves. How freeing to trust in Him, do what He asks, and leave the results up to God. God has promised to take care of us and to work things for our good and I am standing on those promises.

Thanking the Lord for another day with my family. Thanking Him for His provision, His grace, His mercy, His compassion, His joy, His strength, His Word and His Presence. Without them I would be void of hope. And today I have hope and faith that I have not even begun to see what He has planned for me and my family. 2011 is going to be a year of new.

Isaiah 43:18-19Do not [earnestly] remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. Behold I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive it and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert