Just Some Randomness

Staying up late does not agree with me anymore. What happened to the days of my youth when I could stay up late, get up early the next morning for work or school and never feel that I would fall down from exhaustion? They are long gone, I am afraid. The worst part is that I was not staying up to be productive or to do something cool. I was simply wired and could not fall asleep so I ended up sitting on the couch watching HGTV until after 1:00am. I was tempted to start a book but I knew that I wouldn't sleep at all if I did. I have a tendency to stay up way too late reading as well.

I was reading another blog this morning and she was talking about roller skating. And it made me think about going skating and it occurred to me that it has been over a decade since I went roller skating. How could I possibly be that old? Which brings me to the next random thought. I went bowling with my cousins while in Oklahoma a couple months back. We went twice. The first time my cousin (20 years old) was talking about how bowling should not be considered a sport since you could not injure yourself or even work up a sweat. We all laughed and I proceeded to beat the record for the lowest bowling score in the history of the world. A few days later we went back with all the cousins and their girlfriends. I stepped up to bowl the first frame and while flinging the ball down the lane I managed to pull something in my gludius maximus....yes, my butt. I couldn't even walk it hurt so bad. Everyone got a kick out watching me hobble and stand completely motionless while throwing the ball down the lane. My smart mouth cousin then reminded me that I must be old and completely out of shape because bowling wasn't even a sport. Somehow I had injured myself and had worked up a sweat (from embarressment). But the victory was mine because I had the highest score that night and I spanked all of those young bucks at their own game. Apparently standing perfectly still and flinging the ball is the method that works the best for me. Vindication is sweet. What isn't sweet is that my butt hurt for days afterward.

Okay, so was that random enough for you today?

Confession #2

I totally love cooking shows; all kinds of cooking shows. And I still do not cook much. I mean, I do cook most days but it is usually something that we have had a billion times. I am not creative at all and don't often remember any of the recipes that I have seen. Go figure.....

Kind of like looking in windows....

Okay, my first passion in the R&R department is reading. But I am fast realizing that there is a close second. There was a time that I made fun of people that watched reality TV but I am having to eat my words now. The invention of the DVR has made it so much easier to watch numerous shows in half the time. So I have a confession to make....

Hi, my name is ___________ and I am a reality TV show addict.

I still feel silly and ashamed at times when I admit to it. Does watching the lives of other people make me a weirdo? I don't think so........it just means that I like to study human behavior, right? It amazes me how you can put grown adults with successful careers and families into a house and watch them regress into adolescent behavior right before your eyes. Or to watch a persons' life be forever changed by losing an enormous amount of weight. So, to make myself accountable I thought that I would list some of my favorites.

1. American Idol
2. Top Chef
3. Chopped
4. Big Brother
5. The Next Food Network Star
6. Survivor
7. Deadliest Catch (my hubbys influence)
8. Shear Genius
9. Hell's Kitchen
10. What Not To Wear

Just a few.....and I don't watch all of them all the time. Luckily for my time management most of these rotate throughout the year. ;)

And I am a complete sucker for an Americas Next Top Model marathon. You know what I am talking about......

I am sure that I have left a few off of the list.

Perhaps I am living vicariously through others, but I don't think so. I am just completely in awe that people knowingly and willingly sign up to have the worst of them broadcast for the world to see.

Ok, it is time for me to go get a life....

Blue Bell Update

I have almost finished off the entire half gallon. yikes!!!

I want myself back

It is so crazy how a little extra estrogen in the body can make you feel like a nut-job. I think I want to just sleep for the next week. That way I don't snap at anyone, or find myself reduced to tears because "my clothes don't fit anymore". Hibernation would also help me NOT eat the entire half gallon of Blue Bell ice cream. Gotta run. There is a sweet little boy climbing all over me and covering my faces with kisses.

Perfect People

"Perfect People"
-Natalie Grant

Never let 'em see you when you're breaking
Never let 'em see you when you fall
That's how we live and that's how we try
Tell the world you've got it all together
Never let them see what's underneath
Cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while

[CHORUS:]
There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scared
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

Suddenly it's like a weight is lifted
When you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are and where you've been
And you never have to go there again

Who lived and died to give new life
To heal our imperfections
So look up and see out let grace be enough

By a perfect God

Be changed by a perfect God
Be changed

****************

I heard this song today and it just about brought me to tears. It probably would have if I didn't have my "be strong and don't let anything make cracks in the dam of emotions" face on.

It was such a wonderful thing to hear and to read. Because for a long time I have tried very hard (in vain) to be one of those "perfect people". I am not sure why I have felt this way. I do have my suspicions though. First is the fact that I am a Preachers Kid. When you are a preachers kid you either conform or rebel. No matter which you choose it is always never the right choice according to everyone watching. For some reason there seems to be a different standard for preachers families. Maybe it is because people think that preachers and their families don't and shouldn't have any problems. Or that they are not entitled to screw up and need forgiveness every now and then. Or maybe it that people want to see if anyone can live out Gods Word the way He desired. I am really not sure. But for whatever reason I grew up with the "me on the inside" and the "me everyone saw". Most of the time they were one and the same. But when it came to showing emotion or needing to reach out for help, I couldn't do it. Still I am having a hard time with it to be honest. Consequently the wall of protection has gotten higher and higher. Factor is dissapointments and failures and you have a pretty big mess.

But through it all I am so thankful that the Lord knew me from the inside out. Even I was unsure of who I was or what I believed about myself. He has never given up on me. I know that He desires that I be a truly authentic person and Christian. And I am at a place where God is stripping layers away to reveal the beautiful daughter He says I am. Without Him I am nothing, but because of Him I can do anything.

So today as I listened to the song I was beckoned by my Father once again to come, warts and all, and just sit at His feet. And let Him hold me, love me, sing over me, shape and mold me into the reflection of His righteousness. Anything I try apart from Him is "false perfection", never lasting and leaving me wanting.

Thank you Lord that I don't have to be perfect to approach You. I can come as I am and let you work Your will in me. Nothing surprises or shock You. You love me in spite of myself.

I am Cool

The air is working!!! Hallelujah! Thank you Mr. Air Repair Man!!

Supposed to be learning something?

Have you ever realized that "negative" things seem to happen in clusters? Well, I have. Things around here are actually getting a little comical. I have moved past frustration and dissapointment to delirious laughter. After all, if you can't laugh at yourself and your circumstances how else can you move on?

The air conditioner is still not working. The poor A/C man got it all repaired and then realized that the new motor was bad too. He is on his way to pick up another one. Go figure......LOL ;) Then he tells me that the entire unit is so old that is is costing us more to maintain it than to replace it. That is of course if you can afford to replace an entire unit, which we can't right now.....(grinnig uncontrollably now)

Speaking of old things, did I ever tell you that when we moved into this house that it had a home made septic tank? It didn't even have a bottom......I know, gross. We got upgraded and up to code. Then the heater, which used fuel oil, went out. Got that replaced too. We added a second bathroom 2 years ago too. So we are slowly but surely updating our lovely home. Hubby and I tease about finally getting everything updated just in time to move somewhere else. Wouldn't that be a hoot?

And remember that workshop I told you that we bought? We are going to have to pay to get it wired too. Anyone have a money tree that they aren't using? LOL

But all in all we are very blessed. We have a beautiful home that is ours (well as soon as we pay the bank of). We have a wonderful family. I absolutley LOVE where we live. Such a nice area. I have a loving, caring, compassionate hubby that adores me and works hard to make sure that we have what we need. We have 2 handsome, intelligent, sweet little boys that think we hung the moon. I am trusting the Lord for some new friends for hubby & I. Some of our other friends have moved on to other parts of the country. Still wonderful friends but it just isn't as convenient to invite then over for dinner at the last minute. ;)

But the biggest blessing of all is that we can lean on the Lord for everything we need. He is always faithful to provide and take care of us. He loves us and his mercies are new every morning. Knowing Jesus Christ puts everything into perspective.

So, while I am waiting for the A/C to be repaired I will sit with my fans blowing, thanking the Lord that we have a home, a family and that hubby has a job with which to pay for whatever may come.

Remember that every situation is either a test or a temptation. But it is how we respond that lets us know who won, God or the enemy. If we respond in faith and stand firm then it was a test that was passed.

Sin Trap

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I usually refrain from writing about anything specific that is going on with me but today I feel as if I am going to burst wide open.

If you don't feel up to reading, then stop now.

But I am just wanting to put out there that I am so deeply saddened by the destructive wake that follows sin. There are some that would argue that there are varied degrees of sin and that some sin only affects the person committing it but I would like to argue that because God created us as relational human beings that everything we do or don't do ripples out to touch the lives of so many around us.

God must be so deeply saddened and dissapointed when we, as His children, willing walk away from His plans and purposes and walk into a lifestyle of sin. Especially when we try to justify it or pretend that there is nothing wrong with it at all. It states quite clearly in the Word of God that the wages of sin is death. And I have come to realize that you can be the living dead while still walking this earth.

Am I perfect? Absolutely not. Have I sinned? Absolutley yes. Will I sin again before I die? I am sure I will. Will I sin today? Probably so. But thank the Lord for his forgiveness and mercy that is available to all that will ask and receive. Do I want to sit in judgement of those that are living in continual sin? No. But I do want them to know the love, acceptance, forgiveness and life changing power of Jesus Christ. I am saddened by the condition of this world we live in. Where what we want is more highly esteemed than what we need or what our family, friends and communities want or need. Or putting our own desires (most of them fleshly) before the will of God.

Gods Word says to let peace rule your heart. If you do not have peace then most likely there is something in your life that should not be there. I have met people who walk around with such a peaceful countenance that it immediately puts others at ease. Then I have been around other people that seem to thrive on drama and the adrenaline rush of living a life on the edge. Living life the fullest is full of excitement and thrills but to live such a life without the peace of God is a symptom of something missing deep down.

I do not have all of this figured out at all. But I have witnessed a train wreck and it upsets me to see so many people that I love and care about hurting and walking around wounded. God has brought us through so much already in our brief time on this earth. And I know that He is faithful to walk us through this storm as well. The God I love and serve knows all about it and He has promised in Romans 8:28 that "We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.

I take this scripture to mean that not all things happen because it is the will of God. We all have a free will to do as we wish. And sometimes we choose things that are not Gods will. But God can and will work through the situation to produce fruit of some kind. Sometimes it is maturing in Christ. Sometimes it is a lesson learned. And it says that He will work it for "my" good. And Gods plans and purposes are always for my good. So any good that comes will not come apart from God and His desires for me.

I thank the Lord Jesus Christ that He did not give up when things seemed so hopeless and tragic. And I thank Him that He promises to walk me and so many I love dearly through this time. Thank you to all that have been and are continuing to pray.