Comparison trap

It occured to me that it is so dangerous to compare yourself to others. It keeps me from feeling content with my life, my blessings, my talents, and my destiny or purpose. I have come a long way but I still have a long way to go. I find myself thinking sometimes " I wish I could be more like _____" or " why couldn't I do _____" even though I know that it is not what God has called me to do. The first time I remember feeling this way was when my brother learned to play the guitar and began writing songs and singing them. I have always loved music and it just drove me crazy that not only could he play the guitar but that he did it well and it seemed to just flow so easily. Don't get me wrong, I know that he put alot of time and energy into learning his instrument. At least, I realize that now. I was blinded by my own jealousy for years. And it also kept me from having the relationship that I always desired with my brother. There have been several lost years of opportunities where he is concerned. Anyway, while I spent so much time focused on him and what he had or could do, I was not taking ownership of the gifts and talents that God had given me. And unfortunately, it was not until my brother moved away that I realized this. Since then, I have learned to play the piano and now lead praise and worship too. But I want to weep when I think of the time that we could have done it together. And the wisdom that I could have learned from him when he was around so much. Now he has multiple ministry opportunities, a beautiful wife, a crazy dog, an awesome day job and not near enough time for me. But at this point in his life he is doing what he should be doing. But it doesn't make the fact that I missed out on some time with him any less frustrating. And all because I was jealous, stubborn and looking at others when I should have been looking to God and asking Him what He had in store for me.

Now I am wondering what other great friendships I have missed out on because of my own ignorance. I never want to be that person again and I don't see her that often anymore. I hope I see her less and less as I mature in the Lord. I know that God has great things in store for me. And I need to trust that He knows how He created me and what He wants for me. If I focus on that and am obedient, God can do something wonderful in me, with me and for me. Thank the Lord for His grace and the fact that He gives another chance to get it right.