I read this today on a blog that I read most days and it really spoke to me. So I wanted to share it with you guys.
when you take the scraps of lies and make a truth quilt
Makes me want to learn to quilt. Enjoy!
About Me
- PraiseJunky
- I am a wife, a mommy, a home educator, and domestic goddess, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a musician, a reader, a writer, and a lover of Jesus Christ.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
I Choose
Today I choose to not let my feeling dictate my day.
Today I choose to dwell on the blessings in my life and not the lack.
Today I choose to order my home so it brings peace and not chaos.
Today I choose to lean into the arms of my Heavenly Father and let Him love on me without trying to wriggle away.
Today I choose to believe that things can be different.
Today I choose to think the things that change the attitude that becomes the habit that changes my life forever.
Today I choose to choose. I will not let circumstance decide my life for me. I will not let my feelings decide my life for me. I will exercise the free will God gave me to choose to be different. As long as there is breathe in my body there is hope (totally stole that quote from a commercial in Florida).
I choose to worship even if it is only words pouring from my mouth at first.
I choose to let my Spirit be in charge today and not my flesh.
I choose.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Would you answer the Ad?
So I was browsing through some blogs today and had this random thought about "Want Ads" and would I answer the ad for my job? You know the one that I have right now? The whole mommy thing....so I decided to write out what the ad would actually look like.
WANTED: a multi-tasker that is not afraid of hard work. Must be able to do laundry, clean the house, wash the dishes, supervise children, talk on the phone, answer e-mails, read stories, wipe hineys, break up fights, turn down the TV, make the beds, organize the house, hang blinds, fold laundry, grocery shop, take kiddos to the park, kiss little boys after they hurt themselves, cook dinner, meal plan, pay bills, play the piano, sing for the fun of it, dust, babysit nephews, make bread, unload dishwasher, make hubbys lunch, be supportive of ideas and dreams of sons and husband, express love, exercise patience, be available 24/7, must be tolernant of using your body as a jungle gym for children and feeling like velcro. Must be able to prioritize so that you can fit your devotional time into your day somehow. Must be willing to pray for the children and hubby. Probably won't get more than 90 seconds at a time to yourself, even to use the bathroom. Must be able to teach and show enthusiasm for learning. Must be willing to admit when you are wrong and when you just don't know. Skilled at spot removal and use of tools is helpful. BENEFITS include: leaving the house some days to realize that you only put on half your make-up, knowing everynight that no matter how hard you worked to get everything done that you will wake up to find something you missed. Getting to see the moment your child "gets it" and knowing that you are blessed to share with them everything you feel is important. Getting to know the children and seeing them develop into the unique people God created. Quality time with the family. Having the boys climb up in my lap (or wap) and kiss me and tell me that they love me. Knowing that it won't be more than 15 minutes until someone is touching me and wanting hugs. Seeing the hubbys face when he walks in and smells his favorite meal cooking. Being available for heart to heart talks with all 3 of the men in my house. Getting to see all that God is doing in their lives and mine. Priceless!!!
So, yes I would totally answer the Ad. What would your ad look like?
WANTED: a multi-tasker that is not afraid of hard work. Must be able to do laundry, clean the house, wash the dishes, supervise children, talk on the phone, answer e-mails, read stories, wipe hineys, break up fights, turn down the TV, make the beds, organize the house, hang blinds, fold laundry, grocery shop, take kiddos to the park, kiss little boys after they hurt themselves, cook dinner, meal plan, pay bills, play the piano, sing for the fun of it, dust, babysit nephews, make bread, unload dishwasher, make hubbys lunch, be supportive of ideas and dreams of sons and husband, express love, exercise patience, be available 24/7, must be tolernant of using your body as a jungle gym for children and feeling like velcro. Must be able to prioritize so that you can fit your devotional time into your day somehow. Must be willing to pray for the children and hubby. Probably won't get more than 90 seconds at a time to yourself, even to use the bathroom. Must be able to teach and show enthusiasm for learning. Must be willing to admit when you are wrong and when you just don't know. Skilled at spot removal and use of tools is helpful. BENEFITS include: leaving the house some days to realize that you only put on half your make-up, knowing everynight that no matter how hard you worked to get everything done that you will wake up to find something you missed. Getting to see the moment your child "gets it" and knowing that you are blessed to share with them everything you feel is important. Getting to know the children and seeing them develop into the unique people God created. Quality time with the family. Having the boys climb up in my lap (or wap) and kiss me and tell me that they love me. Knowing that it won't be more than 15 minutes until someone is touching me and wanting hugs. Seeing the hubbys face when he walks in and smells his favorite meal cooking. Being available for heart to heart talks with all 3 of the men in my house. Getting to see all that God is doing in their lives and mine. Priceless!!!
So, yes I would totally answer the Ad. What would your ad look like?
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
10 Random Thoughts or Things
Things have been a little deep around here on the blog so I thought I would try to lighten it up. So here is a list of 10 random things you might or might not want to know about me.
1. I have a serious obsession with Fudge Rounds and Cosmic Brownies.
2. My waistline seems to have gone on a vacation (see #1)
3. Kansas wind has transitioned in my mind from "so annoying" to a level of awesomeness I cannot describe. Perhaps it is the 100+ degree temps we are having. But wind is a girls best friend on days like that.
4. I do NOT miss humidity at all!!!
5. Took a walk with my little guys yesterday. They were on bikes.....I heard screaming and apparently they were being chased by a fox (their story, not mine) and while I was concerned, it was all I could do to not laugh at them. Sure the fox ran away from all that drama quickly.
6. They have a great school here. But I love homeschooling and so do my boys. So am praying once again about what is the best for our family. So many people with opinions ( and strange looks...haha)
7. Have you ever decorated your home exactly the way you want it only to wake up one morning and wonder what in the world you have been thinking? I have.
8. Am seriously about to invest some major moolah into some awesome undergarments. Perky is a distant memory.....and hubby says "no" to surgery. Victoria Secret here I come.
9. Did you know that there are some towns that only have 2 days a month that you can get a drivers license? I didn't know that either......but I do now. 14 days to go.....
10. Having your 4 & 6 years olds climb up in your lap and say " I Love You Momma" is the best thing EVER!
1. I have a serious obsession with Fudge Rounds and Cosmic Brownies.
2. My waistline seems to have gone on a vacation (see #1)
3. Kansas wind has transitioned in my mind from "so annoying" to a level of awesomeness I cannot describe. Perhaps it is the 100+ degree temps we are having. But wind is a girls best friend on days like that.
4. I do NOT miss humidity at all!!!
5. Took a walk with my little guys yesterday. They were on bikes.....I heard screaming and apparently they were being chased by a fox (their story, not mine) and while I was concerned, it was all I could do to not laugh at them. Sure the fox ran away from all that drama quickly.
6. They have a great school here. But I love homeschooling and so do my boys. So am praying once again about what is the best for our family. So many people with opinions ( and strange looks...haha)
7. Have you ever decorated your home exactly the way you want it only to wake up one morning and wonder what in the world you have been thinking? I have.
8. Am seriously about to invest some major moolah into some awesome undergarments. Perky is a distant memory.....and hubby says "no" to surgery. Victoria Secret here I come.
9. Did you know that there are some towns that only have 2 days a month that you can get a drivers license? I didn't know that either......but I do now. 14 days to go.....
10. Having your 4 & 6 years olds climb up in your lap and say " I Love You Momma" is the best thing EVER!
Happy Wednesday!!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Change of Perspective
I was sitting in church this morning and had a moment that felt like I had the rug pulled out from under me and was hit between the eyes at the same time.
But before I tell you about that I guess I need to give some background info so it will all make sense.
I have been dealing with drama in the family arena for several years now. My dad went off the deep end and left and apparently it has affected me more than I want to admit. I am 32 years old. I don't need my dad to provide for me financially or to take care of me like I needed when I was a child. But guess what? I have needed him to be there for me and he isn't. That stinks!! I don't like feeling like this. He has been wishy washy and here one minute and gone the next. He has made promises only to break them. I have let my guard down in hopes that "this time" it would be different only to have my heart trampled yet again. I have held my sweet boys in my arms while they cry and ask where Papa has gone and why doesn't he want to see them? So, to put it simply.....I am hurting. I know that somewhere in the messed up life of his that he loves me. I want to believe that. But his actions show different. His priorities reveal what he holds important. I miss him so much that at times I feel like I can't even breathe. I want to call him and talk to him like we used to, but it isn't the same. He isn't the same. And I am a different person as well. I want to yell at him and hit him, yet I need a hug so badly that if I saw him I might not let go. I am so conflicted and confused. I know that the Lord says to forgive. So I have done that. But it is the walking it all out that is just so hard. I need him but I don't want to need him, if that makes any sense. To love him and to reach out means to put myself at risk of rejection again and I know that it would be coming. I am hurting........just like soooooo many others out there. Maybe it isn't a dad that walked away, but a husband or a wife or a child or a best friend or you were hurt by a pastor or teacher, sister, brother. We all have that person that left us feeling like we were less than and we wonder if there is anything that we could have done differently to have avoided the rejection and hurt. If you say that you haven't experienced it then you are either truly blessed or in complete denial. But we feel it, someone said they don't love us or they say they love us and prove different by their words, actions, priorities. How does it make you feel???
So I was sitting in service this morning and the pastor asked that question. How does it feel? Immediately my heart and mind went down that road and I couldn't contain my raw emotions that I try to hide away. I was wallowing in the hurt and pain that was inflicted upon me.....when I was snapped out it by this next question......how do you think God feels when we say we love Him but act like we don't? When we don't give Him the time He deserves? When we allow other things to take His place as our first love? I was hit in the middle of the forehead with the realization that I was making my Savior Jesus Christ feel the same way I despised and resented. I have been telling Him that I love Him but walking in a way that would prove opposite. If I am honest, I love sleeping in more than I love spending time with Him alone. I love watching TV more than Bible study. I love irresponsibility more than preparing to reach a lost and dying world. I love myself and what is going on with me more than what He values and thinks is important. I love music more than worship. I love books more than the Word of God. How dejected I must be making my Savior feel. It broke and still breaks my heart to think that I have inflicted then same kind of hurt that I have been dealing with on anyone else, much less the One that gave everything for me. He gave His life, His life blood, His Son, He has given me everything I need to love Him back. And that is what He covets and desires above all things. To be loved by His children. I am His daughter and unfortunatley I have been acting like I have no appreciation for that fact whatsoever. I love my Savior Jesus Christ and I want Him to feel my love. I need to learn to love. And only time with Him will reveal exactly what that looks and feels like. He wants to be my daddy and to show me what a daddys love feels like. So instead of focusing on what I have lost in my earthly fathers love, I am going to sit at the feet of my Heavenly Father and get to know Him.
But before I tell you about that I guess I need to give some background info so it will all make sense.
I have been dealing with drama in the family arena for several years now. My dad went off the deep end and left and apparently it has affected me more than I want to admit. I am 32 years old. I don't need my dad to provide for me financially or to take care of me like I needed when I was a child. But guess what? I have needed him to be there for me and he isn't. That stinks!! I don't like feeling like this. He has been wishy washy and here one minute and gone the next. He has made promises only to break them. I have let my guard down in hopes that "this time" it would be different only to have my heart trampled yet again. I have held my sweet boys in my arms while they cry and ask where Papa has gone and why doesn't he want to see them? So, to put it simply.....I am hurting. I know that somewhere in the messed up life of his that he loves me. I want to believe that. But his actions show different. His priorities reveal what he holds important. I miss him so much that at times I feel like I can't even breathe. I want to call him and talk to him like we used to, but it isn't the same. He isn't the same. And I am a different person as well. I want to yell at him and hit him, yet I need a hug so badly that if I saw him I might not let go. I am so conflicted and confused. I know that the Lord says to forgive. So I have done that. But it is the walking it all out that is just so hard. I need him but I don't want to need him, if that makes any sense. To love him and to reach out means to put myself at risk of rejection again and I know that it would be coming. I am hurting........just like soooooo many others out there. Maybe it isn't a dad that walked away, but a husband or a wife or a child or a best friend or you were hurt by a pastor or teacher, sister, brother. We all have that person that left us feeling like we were less than and we wonder if there is anything that we could have done differently to have avoided the rejection and hurt. If you say that you haven't experienced it then you are either truly blessed or in complete denial. But we feel it, someone said they don't love us or they say they love us and prove different by their words, actions, priorities. How does it make you feel???
So I was sitting in service this morning and the pastor asked that question. How does it feel? Immediately my heart and mind went down that road and I couldn't contain my raw emotions that I try to hide away. I was wallowing in the hurt and pain that was inflicted upon me.....when I was snapped out it by this next question......how do you think God feels when we say we love Him but act like we don't? When we don't give Him the time He deserves? When we allow other things to take His place as our first love? I was hit in the middle of the forehead with the realization that I was making my Savior Jesus Christ feel the same way I despised and resented. I have been telling Him that I love Him but walking in a way that would prove opposite. If I am honest, I love sleeping in more than I love spending time with Him alone. I love watching TV more than Bible study. I love irresponsibility more than preparing to reach a lost and dying world. I love myself and what is going on with me more than what He values and thinks is important. I love music more than worship. I love books more than the Word of God. How dejected I must be making my Savior feel. It broke and still breaks my heart to think that I have inflicted then same kind of hurt that I have been dealing with on anyone else, much less the One that gave everything for me. He gave His life, His life blood, His Son, He has given me everything I need to love Him back. And that is what He covets and desires above all things. To be loved by His children. I am His daughter and unfortunatley I have been acting like I have no appreciation for that fact whatsoever. I love my Savior Jesus Christ and I want Him to feel my love. I need to learn to love. And only time with Him will reveal exactly what that looks and feels like. He wants to be my daddy and to show me what a daddys love feels like. So instead of focusing on what I have lost in my earthly fathers love, I am going to sit at the feet of my Heavenly Father and get to know Him.
Friday, June 3, 2011
My thoughts
As I sit here and wonder
About what God has in store
I think of the times
When I could have had more
More peace and more patience
More kindness and love
More joy and compassion
from God up above
What is it not offered
Or just not received
I know that the choice
was all up to me
I look forward with joy
to today and the next
knowing that God
wants to order my steps
Will I let Him or
keep doing it my way
Everyday is a choice
I choose Him today.
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