Speed Bump

Life happens. Disappointments come. Plans fall through. Things don't turn out as expected.

But God is still good. He is still sovereign. He is still loving. He still has a future and a hope for me. A future for my good and one that will bring Him glory.

I keep going. I won't quit. I will still trust and have faith.

Because He is worth it. And anything temporal and earthly is nothing compared to His glory.

Object Lesson

Areas in our lives that need overhauling sometimes go unnoticed, whether by denial or we are so entrenched in our behaviors that we don't recognize that they need changing.

This morning brought with it a wake up call of sorts. It wasn't a terrible morning, or anything earth shattering. Just a feeling of being overwhelmed and wanting to pass the buck and lay blame at the feet of others. In that moment of frustration, I felt the quiet nudging of the Holy Spirit say "this is the day you created,  not me." He did not create this day to be filled with chaos, clutter and exasperation, but I did by my choices, my attitude and the habits I walk out each day.

If my children are struggling with being undisciplined, it is because I have modeled that as a lifestyle before them. If my home and its chores are driving me crazy, it is because I have lived habits that enable it to get that way. If it's noon and we have not yet begun our schoolday, it is not the fault of my children. That responsibility lays squarely at my feet. I set the tone in my home. I can choose to be proactive and mature or continually play catch up and feel overwhelmed all the time. The choice is mine.

I am thankful this morning for a Heavenly Father that offers new mercies every morning, a new beginning to start again. He offers forgiveness for past sins and failures and He lifts me up and shows me a new way, a better way, His way.

I am going to extend mercy and grace to myself and my boys today but also seek the Lord and His wisdom to teach me His way. The way of maturity, wisdom, freedom and blessing.

Colossians 3:23-24
Whatever may be your task, work at heartily as something done for the Lord and not for men. Knowing with all certainty that it is from the Lord and not from men that you will receive an inheritance which is your real reward. The One who you are actually serving is the Lord Christ.

An inheritance? What kind of inheritance am I leaving behind? Praying today that the Lord will walk me through and teach me how to leave a godly inheritance.

Thankful for His mercies, grace, compassion and love today and every day.

Wall Coming Down

There are times in our lives that we get a feeling that something is just around the corner. Perhaps it starts out as a feeling of anticipation or maybe nervousness. But regardless of how it begins it starts to grow. The only way I can really explain it is to liken it to pregnancy. It starts as an egg and then through time and nurturing the baby grows and matures and we give birth, not to an unformed thing but to a fully developed person.

I believe that sometimes God works the same way in our lives. He will plant the seed of a dream in our hearts. However, we can choose whether to nurture the seed or starve it. Our choice, all ours.

I know that there are many dreams in me, they have been there for a long time, but I have allowed so many distractions to starve them. I have longed to truly develop my giftings but fear has kept me paralyzed. I have longed for deep relationships but fear of rejection and the tendency to compare has left me lonely. I have dreamed of writing but poor time management has left me with no time.  I desire to write songs but I haven't cultivated the areas of my life that would enable to do it well. I see things around me every day where I know that I could make a difference but I have not been bold.

As I look back at my life I can see the walls I have built around myself. Walls that I thought would protect me from hurt and disappointment but instead they have isolated me and held me captive.

BUT I feel a change coming. I am no longer content with things the way they are. I am experiencing a new relationship with my Father God. I am seeing who He is through His Word. I have a new hunger for His Word and for His presence. I know that He is blowing the dust off of me and calling me higher. He is igniting new passions and relighting the fires of my dreams. I feel a change in the air. And what's more, I am seeing the walls come down, brick by brick. He is exposing the lies I have believed and showing me truth, His truth, who He says I am. He is redefining me through His identity. I am excited and expectant. I am experiencing a new freedom.

Guess what? I don't have to be liked by everyone. I am loved by Christ. I don't have to please men. I am loved by God. I am called to love Him and please Him and glorify Him, not men. I am to love my neighbor but I am not called to please them. It's ok if they don't agree with me. The only one I need to agree with is my Savior Jesus Christ. He is my example. And while He walked the earth, most folks didn't like Him, didn't agree with Him, and they certainly didn't understand most of what He said and did.  But He walked out His calling anyway. He loved. He walked in love, spoke with love, with compassion and loved even to the point of sacrifice but He did not seek to please.

The winds of change are blowing and I am excited. I am expectant at what God is doing in me and my family.  The time is now to step out and walk in what God is calling me to do, whatever that is each day and in each moment.

"I'm no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God."

My new song of declaration!!! Bethel- No Longer Slaves

Random Stuff

Ok, so here is a random post because it's my blog and I can post what I want.

Top Ten Random Thoughts of Today

1. I really don't understand the attraction of the Super Bowl. Most people say they watch it for the commercials and half time show.....isn't that kind of insulting to the players that worked so hard to get into the big game? And most of the commercials these days are either lame, raunchy or a combination of both. So gonna skip that part. And while I'm sure whoever performed during the half time show did a wonderful job, I am just not interested. If you love the Super Bowl and football, and commercials and parties centered around those things.....that is great!! I am happy for you. I just don't get it.

2. You have 2 children and you dream of them playing together and enjoying each other's company, and they do......usually. But then there are those days when it's just not enough and there are meltdowns because there isn't ANYONE to play with. And then who are they looking to???? Yep, me. Like I really want to play a BMX video game??? I thought the whole point of video games was that you could play them alone....

3. Laundry.....that is all.

4. Being a grown up is tough at times. When you are young you envision countless hours of free time and not having to answer to anyone and getting to spend your money on anything you want..... then you wake up one morning and realize that you are spending precious free moments running to the store to buy toilet paper....bubble popped.

5. There is nothing like the presence of God. And nothing like experiencing the presence of God corporately. I love it!!! I love having the privilege of leading people into the presence of God. I am humbled and encouraged each time. Today the congregation was singing so loud that it overpowered our monitors. Was wonderful!!!!

6. Gods' Word is the best book ever!!! Each time I spend time reading and studying I see and learn something new. A new facet of my Fathers character, a new name for my Savior, a new promise that is available to me. Incredible!!!

7. Being married is the best and hardest thing. I love my man so much!!! I am so blessed!!! But there are days when we don't agree and we annoy each other and maybe we don't really understand what the other is trying to say. But it's worth it. It's worth the work, worth the long conversations to clear up misunderstanding, worth being vulnerable, worth admitting when your wrong, worth saying sorry first, worth getting on your face before God and confessing and asking forgiveness for getting it wrong. It's worth it because I choose to love, he chooses to love me. Our sons see us choosing to love in spite of differences, they see that we don't always have to agree to love, in fact our differences make us stronger.  Fifteen years in and I still love my man!!!! And I will choose to love him for the rest of my life.

8. These days it seems that every time a person expresses an opinion about their own life at least one person will get offended and feel the need to attack or express a counter opinion. Why?? What happened to people being able to express themselves without complete strangers getting defensive and reacting? Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Why is it so important for everyone to agree with the opinion?? I feel that a person that is secure in their beliefs, opinions and decisions should not be threatened by someone else's opinion. Just my thoughts, but then again I'm sure someone will disagree....hahaha

9. I said the word opinion way too many times in #8

10. I saw a Japanese Magnolia tree blooming today and it made me happy. Yes, a pink flower on a tree can do that. They are beautiful and I love them.

Happy first week of February. Hope it's a good one!!!