A little Weepy

           Maybe it is the dreary day outside or the slight headache.
Or maybe the headache is from holding back the tears that seem to have stopped up my throat.
                                   Nothing is really obvious today.
I do not have an overwhelming reason to cry.
         My mind is not flooded with hurts or dissapointments.
                    My compulsion to sing has been stayed.
    The only compulsion is the one to curl up on the couch with my favorite quilt.
In the midst of the uncertainty and weirdness there is One that is never changing.
                                  He wants to be the quilt I wrap around me.
                                               He wants to cradle me as I try to swallow the lump in my throat.
                  Or maybe He doesn't want me to try to swallow it back.
                                           But rather to let it out.
               Let it out and let Him hold me while I cry.
Cry for no reason and for every reason.
                              The why doesn't really matter.
         What matters is that this day, this woman, these emotions of mine matter to Him.
                                             Emotions I may not fully understand until they are flooding out.
                   It isn't too much for Him.
                                                         He created my every part, that includes my heart.
So while I lean into Him and rest in His arms, I will cry.
           Perhaps the crying isn't even for me but for someone else that cannot express.
                                How interconnected we women of God are.
                                              Women. Woman. The one that does not need a reason to cry.
    But we do. Often. And it feels so much better when we are done.
                          Maybe it is the dreary day or perhaps it is not.
                                         In the end I don't really need a reason after all.