I have been hesitant to blog about it all because I have been struggling with insecurity, doubt and just plain panic at times. But as I am seeing things through different eyes I am gaining clarity and perspective. I may not understand it all but I have peace and that is an important thing, probably the most important. I know that we are walking in Gods will and that gives me reassurance and peace.
Have I been cryptic enough for you? haha
A couple of months ago I began watching the son of my high school best friend. We had lost touch for many years but God brought us back together and orchestrated for her son to be a HUGE blessing to our family. I wasn't looking to watch any children but when God quickened my heart and spirit, I knew that it was right. He is a sweetie that brightens our days. His momma is such a wonderful woman and I am blessed to have such a great friend back in my life. My two boys have "adopted" him and call him brother. And they are so sad when he is not at our house. I didn't know anything was missing at our house until he showed up. My hubby has fallen in love with the little guy too. And for those of you know him, that is a big deal! God is good!!
God has been speaking to hubby and I for over a year about homeschooling our boys. Lets just say that for many months I have been walking around with my fingers in my ears in regards to that matter. I didn't want to do it, I didn't understand why anyone would want to, and I just flat out said "no, I think I know what is best for our family". Well, God let me do it my way and has been faithful to provide, protect and minsiter in spite of my disobedience but I have felt an inner turmoil and unrest. I did not like that feeling so I began asking God about it. In His gentle way, He told me that I have been disobedient and that I will never have peace while in rebellion. It is just that simple. So hubby and I began to pray, seek and research everything we could get our hands on about homeschooling. And a funny thing happened. It all began to make sense and to come together in my heart. Then it began to make sense to my mind. And after a while I decided to surrender.
I cannot tell you how at peace I am regarding this decision. Our son is so excited! He loves learning and is already giving me instructions on what he would like to learn about in addition to reading, writing and arithmetic. He has mentioned planes and trains. I wasn't surprised at these. Then he says "Mom, I want to learn about being healthy; what kind of food to eat, how to exercise and healthy things. And I want to learn about manners and stuff". I almost fell out! Guess I need to step up my game.
So we start next week. It will be an adjustment and a challenge I am sure. But anything worth doing is worth the time, effort and work associated with it. And believe me when I say that our two precious, sweet, curious, impressionable boys are TOTALLY worth it.
My sister in law posted a blog about "I Can Do This" and suggested that other bloggers share their "I Can Do This" stories. So this is mine.
Am I nervous? Yes. But do I know God is faithful? Do I know that He has gifted me with exactly what I need to do what He has called me to? Yes, and where I am lacking, I know He is the strength, wisdom, joy, peace and patience that I need.
Any prayers for me and the family are appreciated!There is other "stuff" going on too right now but that will be a later post when it becomes a testimony.
www.fearfully-wonderfully.com
Yeah, I haven't figured out how to do that linky thing either. But you can click on the blog title in my blog list on the left. Oh well, one thing at a time. Gotta focus on phonics right now and it has been a very looooong time. :)
