Ponderings

I was reading some of my blog posts from 2007 tonight. Remembering what my life was like 7 years ago. I had two very small little boys, my parents were still married, my family all lived in the same 150 mile radius, I was teaching music weekly to about 100 lovely little people, and I was much younger.

Things have changed quite a bit since then. Now both of my parents have remarried and I have step parents and step siblings. My parents have both moved away. Like over 500 miles away. My sister and her family moved 1,000 miles away. My brothers family is packing up and moving to North Carolina. Our boys are 8 & 10 years old. Our family has moved to Kansas and back again. If I'm honest I must admit that in some ways I am a bit more jaded than I was 7 years ago, less naive, and more skeptical. But I have also matured, I have seen God work miracles and bring freedom and deliverance. I have experienced His grace, His mercy, His compassion and His love. I have witnessed our two boys grow in the Lord. I see the gifts that God has put in them and I am privileged to help cultivate them and to train them up in the ways of the Lord. My life has known such joy being their mom. I can't imagine my life without them. What incredible gifts they are to my hubby and I. I see so much of him in them. Our oldest has his smile and hands. Our youngest has his caring spirit and ability to truly "listen". They both inherited his love of music and are excellent musicians. They love playing and writing music together. And they do it well, if I may say so myself. And my hubby......what a blessing he is to me. He works so hard to take care of us. But it's the moments that he spends with our boys that make my heart sing. I love to watch them throw the football around and tackle each other while giggling. Or watch some weird guy movie together, knowing that I am going to hate it. The days are going by so fast. I want them to slow down so much!!! My oldest reminds me daily that he is almost as tall as I. And exactly how many years and months until he gets his driving permit. And he tells me that he wants to be a train engineer, and a chef, and a concert pianist, and a composer for movies when he grows up. Our youngest wants to farm, to drive tractors and spend his days in the dirt. I could be way wrong but his personality makes me think that he would be content to stay in this area his entire life and do what his daddy does. But our oldest is the dreamer, the one that I feel we will launch into this big world and watch him fly. Then again, it's a long way off.....anything could happen.

Feeling thankful tonight for the many blessings in my life and for the road that the Lord has walked with me these last years. They have been different than I imagined but God is faithful and He does work everything for our good if we allow Him. I am walking in a new freedom and for that I am so grateful.