Today was "go get our flu shots" day. I had been preparing the boys that we would be going to get them and trying to reassure them that they were brave and that it wouldn't hurt too bad. However based on their previous experience, they were reluctant to believe me. We even called other people who had already gotten their shots and they were told that it didn't hurt. So they were getting braver bit by bit.
I could tell that my oldest was worrying when I picked him up from school. So we talked about it again. He asked questions and I answered the best I could with the knowledge that I had. We grabbed lunch (at a drive-thru....that is a HUGE treat for us) and then went to see their daddy. Then we were off to the doctors office for what I thought was going to be a no nonsense, quick trip for shots. Yeah right!
We signed in and then sat and sat and waited and waited and waited to be seen. Now I am used to waiting at the doctors office and it wouldn't have been a big deal EXCEPT I called them last week and again yesterday to make sure we didn't need to make an appointment. They said "no it is done outpatient, in and out". So that is what I told the boys. So after waiting for over an hour my boys were getting more and more nervous. Once we got into the room, the nurse then proceeded to draw up the shot IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN. Not sure if it is her first week working with kids or what but I have never had a nurse even let the boys see the syringe, much less put them through the agony of watching her pull the inch and a half needle out and fill it full with stuff she is going to stick in their leg. At this point, my oldest started going into major freak-out mode. I had to lay on top of him and hold him down while he was shrieking and thrashing about. All the while my youngest is on the other side of the room junping up and down and running in circles because he just knows we are killing his brother. The nurse finally gave him the shot and he stopped screaming and said "that didn't hurt that much". So little brother is put on the table for round two and big brother tells him that it won't hurt that much. Round 2 went smoother. He didn't thrash, just alot of screaming. They did get cool stickers for their "good behavior".
I went directly to Walgreens and got my flu shot. They were worried for me but I had more knowledge and experience on my side and I am proud to say that I did NOT freak out and punch the nurse. It didn't hurt at all.
Anyway, this whole experience got me thinking about things. A shot is never a pleasant experience but I had more knowledge and experiences on my side to help dispell any fears. My boys were relying on their knowledge of shots to cope. And guess what? The experiences they have had gave them a perspective that no matter what SHOTS ARE EVIL AND MUST BE AVOIDED AT ALL COST. As their mother I know the benefits of shots, a little pain now to help avoid a greater pain later. My perspective is different than theirs. How many times do I walk into a situation and bring my perspective which is skewed by my experiences instead of relying on God's perspective? He can see so much more clearly what I need. He will never lie to me. My boys thought I had lied to them when the shots were not what they had been told. I didn't lie. I spoke the truth. God speaks the truth and is truth. Just because things don't work out the way I think they should does not mean that God lied or led me astray. He knows better than me. Why can't I just trust Him?
Not sure if that made sense to anyone else but the events of this afternoon taught me a lesson. My life and its experiences and my perspective about those experiences have affected how I look at things and how I live my life. It is only God's perspective that is perfect and sees all things and sees how things will work out for my benefit. If I will take the time to get to know my Heavenly Father and allow His perspective to become my perspective, how much differently would I be living my life? I would walk confident, not in fear. I would walk in love and compassion, not in judgement and criticism. I would be generous, not stingy and selfish. I would be patient, not quick tempered. I would walk in faith, not walking daily in doubt and bondage. I would see the people around me as creations of God who need to know Him and His love and salvation, not people that inconvenience me in my little self absorbed world.
Today showed me how screwed up in my thinking I have been. It is time to get to know God for all He is.
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