If you can't beat them, join them

The last few weeks have been a lesson on patience and determination. I have struggled with our boys and their apathy in regards to school. It has made me question my abilities, my purpose, my approach and has left me tired.  I know that a couple weeks off always makes getting back into the groove difficult, but this has seemed like something else. I have been praying and attempting to talk reasonably with the boys. But after 2 weeks of saying the same thing over & over again, I kind of snapped. I laid down the law and did not allow them to express an opinion. The day went much smoother. I think my insecurities and doubt had spread and left them feeling like they could choose to NOT do school. I know that at times I would rather read than do the dishes, and so I do. I thought that I was teaching them to enjoy each day as it came but I think I have inadvertently taught them to procrastinate and to put off what they do not enjoy doing. NOT the lesson I hoped for.  So as I have been praying and seeking the Lord, I have heard him speak that I need to teach by example....not just teaching school subjects but how to live this life successfully and in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. It is time to step up and do better. Maya Angelou said "You did what you knew, and when you knew better, you did better".  So it is time to do better. I am praying for direction and divine inspiration. I am also praying that the Lord will help me to live MY life in a way that is pleasing to Him and is an example of goldy living that leads to a successful and joy-filled life.