A Letter to my Younger Self

The past few weeks have gotten me to thinking about some things I wish I had known earlier in my life, reflecting on decisions I have made and reassessing some mindsets and beliefs. So I thought I would write a letter to my younger self to explain it all. This is really just an exercise for myself, but feel free to read if you like or even write your own.

Dear You,

You think you know everything and have it all figured out. I can tell you that the longer you hold onto that assumption, the harder things will be. Here are some nuggets of wisdom from your slightly older, somewhat wiser, less arrogant self.

1. Don't spend so much time worrying over things you have absolutley NO control over. It will rob you of joy, time and a passion for life.

2. People will always have opinions, no matter what you do. You cannot please them all. You can spend your entire life people pleasing and still end up abused, rejected and cast aside. Focus on what God says about you. He is all that matters. In Him alone, will you find your true identity.

3. Use your time wisely, you only have so much. Be purposeful with your days. Don't let them slip by without making an impact on at least one thing or person, even if that one thing is yourself.

4. Don't agree to do something unless you fully intend on following it through. Refer to number 2. Many stresses can be avoided if you just think it through before saying "yes" or "no". Your word is very important! Do not break your word if you can avoid it, even if it inconveniences you. God did not make you to be a "flake".

5. Time alone with God is sooooo important!!! If you don't get this right, then everything else is going to be sooooo much harder.

6. Laugh more! Lighten up! Be silly! Dance! Sing! Run hard!

7. Don't wear masks. Not with your husband, your children, your family, your friends or your church. They only bring destruction to you. Trust enough in the Lord and the people around you to be yourself. Even if they don't understand you, they will have a greater appreciation for your authenticity than your "I am acting like I have it all together when I am crumbling inside" mask. A hint......the mask doesn't fool anyone anyway.

8. Don't drink so much caffeine or eat so much chocolate....you know it makes you edgy and irritable. Your family will thank you many times over for this.

9. Always be learning! Learn a new skill, master it. Don't just start and then cast it aside when it is no longer fun. Commit to something and see it through to completion.

10. Don't be prideful but don't hide your talents and gifts. Use them with a passion. God gave them to you for a purpose. Enjoy them!!

11. Be a friend. A good friend. Listen more than you speak. Be plugged in and interested. Be vulnerable and open allowing friendship to grow and bloom into something beautiful. Be the friend you always wanted.

12. Not everyone will be a lifelong friend. That is okay. Stop trying to force something. Be kind and available but don't stress if it ends. Some relationships are for seasons and others are for a lifetime. Learn to recognize the difference.

13. Love with everything in you! Receive the love God has for you so you can then love others. You can't give what you don't have. It is a wonderful thing to be loved on by your Heavenly Father. Enjoy it! Don't hide from Him, He is not a man that He should dissapoint and crush your heart. HE IS LOVE! Feel that!

14. Your husband is your best friend! Encourage him, lift him up, love him, RESPECT him, be available to him. Make your home a haven for your family. Be thankful that he has a drive to work and takes his position as the head of your home seriously. Pray for him so that he will become everything God created him to be. You see the potential. Encourage him to grow. Do not nag. It is counterproductive. Believe me, it does not work. Communicate with him. Don't talk negatively about him to others. Rather be a grown up and discuss issues with him face to face. Don't turn to others for validation and acceptance if you have not gone to your husband first. Do not say anything about him to others that you would not say if he were standing right beside you. Let him hear you build him up to others. He wants to be your hero. Let him.

15. Your children are always watching you.....and I mean always. Be a Godly example to them. Pray with them. Read Gods Word with them. Talk respectfully. Teach discipline, model kindness, compassion, love, joy, peace, patience. You are their greatest teacher. Never forget that. Pray for them continually. God has a purpose for their lives. And yours right now is praying for them and teaching them and preparing them for what lies ahead.

16. Turn a deaf ear to anyone that would make you feel like a "second rate" citizen because you are a stay at home mom. You are doing what the Lord has asked of you and His opinion is all that matters. You are doing a good job and He is pleased with you. Obedience to the Lord is so much important than the opinions of the world. They are looking through their own perspecives and life experiences. They may not understand your decision but you need not be defensive or feel like you have to explain yourself at all. Just rest in the assurance that you are being obedient.

17. Same thing goes for homeschooling. I know right now you cannot even imagine doing such a thing. But never say never. Just be pliable and willing to grow in the directions God says. You love to learn and love school. Maintain that passion and zeal. Allow your children to be different than you. Ask God to show you how to draw out their strengths. Be patient with their weaknesses. Always love! Be disciplined but flexible. Have fun! Plan ahead so you are prepared but be willing to roll with the punches.

18. You will be much more hospitable if you are diligent about keeping your home clean and tidy. You think you need all that "stuff" sitting around gathering dust but time will change your mind. Teach your children to take care of their home by modeling it for them. You want your family to love where they live and feel free to invite guests over without embarressment. Yes, it really is that big of a deal. It isn't that hard. just do it. Be a grown up already!

19. You will not like this one and I am not even a fan of it at this point in my life either. Excercise!!! You feel better, you are more disciplined in all areas when this is in place. Plus it is taking care of your body. You want to be around for your family for a long time?? Then you have to do this. They deserve your best. You can't neglect this area. Keep trying new things until you find something you love to do. And until then, keep doing something to be healthy. Do you not discern and understand that you are God's temple (His sanctuary), and that the God's Spirit has His permanent dwelling in you, collectively as a church and also individually? I Corinthians 3:16

20. Lastly for today, be yourself. Don't hide who God created you to be. Always be growing and maturing but feel free to be you. There will be areas of your life that God may overhaul and that is alright. Go with it. Surrender. He knows how He created you. He is not surprised by your quirks. He actually smiles when He thinks of you. Have faith that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. Believe that He has good things in store for you. He does. Do not give up. Keep pressing on. Love the Lord with all your heart, mind and spirit and recieve His love for you! Everyday be thankful and grateful and walk through each day aware of the blessings in your life. Focus on the positive! Cast fear aside and walk in the strength of the Lord. If God be for us, who can be against us?

Love, ME