Not a "hater"

Alright, so I just re-read my last post about Valentines Day. Yikes! Am I really that bitter? Uncommon Blonde calls people like us "haters". It is not that I am hating on anything, really. If you enjoy Valentines Day and the man in your life does too. More power to you. It could be that us "haters" are just "green eyed monsters" in disguise. Something to think about.

Valentines Shmalentines

So I realized today that I am not a huge fan of Valentines Day.

I delivered beautiful, fragrant arrangements of flowers today. Mostly red roses but some other varieties too. Now I must admit I am a HUGE fan of flowers. And it surprised me that so many women that received them seemed totally unimpressed. At least their loved one thought of them but they still acted like I might as well have been delivering "the plague". Now, I do not know what these women encounter on a daily basis so I should not judge. Maybe they have a complete loser at home that wants his wifes co-workers to think he is something that he is not. Who knows?

And it was nice to make some money off of this extremely commercialized holiday that seems centered on love, kind of.

The longer I live the more I realize that I am not a person that is moved by tradition. Maybe Valentines Day is not a big deal to me because I feel like I should not have to have a national holiday for my husband to think about sending me flowers. I want him to do it on his own. Granted, that is not very often but still when he does it seems to be his idea.

I also am realizing that in this area of my life I seem to rebel. The rest of the world gets and receives cards, I won't......just because everyone else expects it. I don't send Christmas cards for the same reason. Personally I don't understand the concept of sending a card to people that only has your signature in it. Exactly what is a person supposed to do with the card after it arrives? Keep it forever? Feel guilty about throwing it away? If you send out a card I think it should include a picture at the least and an update of the senders life at the most. Anything else seems to be a waste of time and money. And in this day of technology it is so easy to let the people you love know that you are thinking about them. How about a call? Much more personal and you might actually find out how the other person is doing.

Then again, maybe I just have a problem with people I don't know telling me what is expected of me just because a certain date on the calendar dictates certain expectations and actions.

I am a fan of birthdays and anniversarys. Those dates have true signifigance and everyones is different. I can get behind celebrating those days because they are uniquely mine (or my family and friends). It is something personal and intimate.

I must sound like a raving lunatic. Oh well! Maybe I am..........

I do know that I need to work on my authority issues or I just might have two little boys like me. Wouldn't that be sad? Does that mean I will be jumping on the Valentine band-wagon? No, probably not.... but who knows? You just might get a christmas card with my signature in it one day........but I wouldn't hold your breathe.

Another thought.......would I feel this way if my husband was excited about these holidays? That is the million dollar question

I see the light......

at the end of the tunnel. Feeling better. I am not sure which of the things I took is responsible or if it is just blowing itself out. I am not going to think about it too hard. I am just thankful that I am feeling better. And getting out of the house for a while gave the little guys a break. They were going nuts this morning......well maybe they were just driving me nuts. It is nap-time soon so maybe I can get caught up around here. Or I could just rest and read or something. I will decide later.

Hand me a tissue

So, what I thought was allergies is apparently not. Yippee! I don't feel miserable....just a little grumpy, irritable and floofy. (floofy = stuffed up, foggy head, etc) So I will be spending today trying to rest and get over this stuff. So here is to tomorrow and feeling better.

Monday again?

This morning I am finding myself having trouble to get motivated to do anything constructive. I do not feel sick but I am not feeling 100% either. I think it is allergies. Anyway, I am wanting to lay on the couch and watch the Lifetime Movie Channel and veg out. The problem with that plan is that I have two very active little boys that have other plans. When I really think about it...that is a good thing. They make it nearly impossible to be lazy. So I get things done whether I feel like it or not.

I missed church yesterday. I am kinda bummed about that. The little guy had a runny nose and was coughing so I didn't want to take him to the nursery so he could infect other kids. I am a bit ticky about the whole nursery thing. My kids have not been children that get sick.....until we started looking for a new church. I don't understand what is so hard about NOT taking kids to the nursery if they don't feel well. However, apparently it is a concept that alot of parents just don't get. Either that or they don't care. I am tired of taking the kids to church only to have them get sick after being there. So I am now in the position of having to decide what to do. I am tired of the kids not feeling well but I also LOVE going to church. So, I guess prayer is in order so the hubby and I will know what to do. I know this may seem like a very "small, tiny thing" to get ticky about but this is how I feel.

The other day as I was cleaning house ( I got inspired after my last blog) my 3 year old asked me about a picture of a baby on the mantle of the fireplace. I told him that it was him when he was a baby. He looked at me with his big blue eyes and said that he had been in my tummy and when he came out he was "yucky". Then he told me about getting cleaned up. So I then sat down and told him about when he was born. It was a wonderful mommy-son moment. (the other kiddo was napping) Then he asked me to tell him some more stories. It was priceless. So we sat down and looked at photo albums of when me and the hubby got married and kept looking until we got to the pictures of the boys. He was fascinated. He has always been a very special little boy but it hit me that day about how fast he is growing up. Too fast! And he is now wearing big boy underwear and doing wonderfully. Hallelujah!

The littlest little guy is a bit of an enigma to me. He is so much like his daddy that it is comical. He is totally different than his brother but I believe that they will compliment each other nicely as they grow up together. They play together now for hours at a time and actually enjoy it. So nice for mommy.....gives me time to do other things. But the "first-born" bossyness has already begun. I hear my 3 year old saying the same things I tell him to the little guy. Kind of funny to hear it come out of his mouth.

My sister is doing great with her pregnancy. She is supposed to go today and get some ultrasound pictures taken. She is sooooo excited. And although I already have 2 kids of my own I am feeling exhilerated about being an aunt. I can't wait to see the little one when it gets here. I can't believe that my little sister is going to be a mommy. TOOOOOO COOOOOL!! I had a dream about the baby the other night. Curious to see if the baby will look anything like my dream. So proud of her and her husband.

My husbands sister had an accident several days ago and had to have surgery. She is doing well and should be able to go home soon. But I think that it hit my husband that he does not like living 1500 miles from his sister. And I have seen a protective, "Papa Bear" thing in him that I have never seen before. I know that he loves his sister but I think he has missed her more than he has been willing to admit. He wants her to happy and fulfilled and wants her to follow her dreams but it is apparent that her moving away affected him more than he let on. So I pray that this event will bring about change in alot of areas for her personally and spiritually and will also bring her and my hubby closer. They need each other even if they think otherwise.

Well, I guess I should clean up the breakfast dishes. So glad that it is sunny outside. Makes things bright and shiny somehow. Thank the Lord I don't live in Seattle with its 300 days of rain a year.

Mission Organization....Impossible?

It is no surprise to those of you that know me.....I am not an organized person. I wish I was more organized but apparently wishing does not change things. Only discipline and hard work does. And that is where my procrastination and rebellious side steps in.

Growing up, my mother ran our house with clock work precision and incredible organization. I am the oldest of four children. My mother also watched other children at times to bring in a little extra income. And then there was the year that my three cousins came to live with us. That year there were 9 kids eating dinner several nights a week at our house. Looking back at how my mother handled everything I am in awe. I only have 2 kids and while they are truly blessings, they can drive my to the point of distraction sometimes. I did not understand when I was younger why my mom did things they way she did. We had a closely guarded routine. Time to get up, eat, school, homework, dinner, baths, bed. It was the same every day. Well, except for Wednesdays when we went to church. Church fit between dinner and baths. But the house ran like a well oiled machine. And while my dad is a great guy......I have to give credit for the house running smooth to my mother. And my mom cooked us every meal we ate. I think she is wonder woman. Anyway...... I am realizing that while at times I am like my mom, the things I want to be like her....are not. Unfortunately I am like my dad. Procrastinator, easily bored, flighty at times, spontaneous (not as much as I used to be), and a little messy. That list does not make for good examples to my kids. So I have decided to put myself on a routine. I may not like it but I am sure that after I get used to it I will be glad that it has made my life easier. And so I am off to make my lists and schedule. And since I am a results driven person..... I will also make a list of rewards. Rewards like reading during the boys naps instead of cleaning. So if any of you have any ideas or want to share.....please feel free. I could use some help and suggestions.

And maybe one day down the road my two boys will be telling their wives about how awesome their momma was at running a house. I sooooooooo want that to be the case instead of them being grateful to be out of here. Oh! And I want them to be calling me to ask how to make their favorite dish so they can get their wives to make it. That image is enough to make me want to do and be better.

***A side note.......if my three year old pees or poops in his pants again...... I might explode!***

A Friday Night Away

Last night my sister and I took our momma out to dinner for her birthday. It was a wonderful evening. Just us girls. I had not been out on a Friday night in so long that I can't even remember the last time. We went down to the coast to eat. The food was phenomenal. The conversation was great. It was refreshing to talk to adults after spending so much time with toddlers. And the fact that I got to eat my meal while it was still hot.........great! Usually I am too busy feeding the little guys to really enjoy a meal. But last night was a very welcome break. I should make more time to do that sort of thing more often. It was a complete flip side of the coin of a meal earlier in the week.

Lets see......I guess it was Tuesday. The boys and I went with my parents and my sister to meet my grandparents for dinner in Live Oak. First disaster was that neither of the kiddos had naps that day. Not a good idea. Second disaster.....buffet at Golden Corral. I absolutely hate buffets. You don't know who touched what or how long the food has been sitting there. When I asked for a high chair the waitress informed me that they were by the door. So then I had to go fish a high chair out from behind the dessert bar while holding my 13 month old. Needless to say I was getting a little ticked. Anyway, my mom helped me fix the boys plates. My oldest son did fine eating by himself but the youngest was just being awnry. Then the oldest decided that he needed to go to the bathroom. So I took him into a room that looked like it had not been cleaned in a year or so. After washing hands and sanitizing we returned to the table.Then the youngest little guy refused to swallow anything that wasn't a yeast roll. So the frustration increased. Add that to the fact that he kept pulling the place mat off the table. Anyway, I got up to finally get a plate for myself. By the time I got back, the little guy had managed to pull off the place mat while rubbing his yeast roll on the table. YUCK!!!! I was beginning to lose it. So I picked him up, threw the soiled roll away and proceeded to try to feed him while he sat on my lap. He then grabbed at a knife....I quickly took it away and in the process dumped my entire plate of food on the floor and my grandpa. I am sure that my family at this point could see smoke coming out of my ears. I removed my self from the table and took the lil man outside to cool off. After a while of standing outside while receiving stares from the locals we returned to the table to try again. And before I could even take a drink of my tea, the little monkey grabbed my cup and dumped tea down the front of my shirt. At this point I looked at my dad and said that I would never return to Golden Corral in Live Oak. He just began to laugh at me and said that I was paying for my raising. That sparked conversation with the family. Then my oldest decided to inform the entire resturaunt that he was "trying to poop" I truly wanted to crawl into a hole. The upside was that after that we got to leave. I am very glad that we got to spend time with my grandparents too. So I guess it was worth it. Maybe.

So last night was like being in heaven. No kids, no men, no hassle. Great view of the ocean, great food, and great time with my two favorite people. It was lovely. And much needed. I am feeling a bit more sane today because of it. Those of you with children know exactly what I'm talking about. Those of you who don't have kids.......don't take your hassle free dinners for granted. Ever.